圣抽烟！

东西是在谷歌中国移动。

我一直工作在过去的12小时内与谷歌文档，我才意识到我用的是易建联的电脑，一个没有安装的VPN。 这意味着，Google文档，是因为昨天晚上至少畅通。 所以是“Google网上论坛”！ 这两个网站是由中国的GFW的封锁，直到最近。

现在我不知道是什么使这个。 是GFW的修补与检查算法，因为它准备包括整个块Google.com和关闭永远的灯？ 或在北京的谈判，就像我们一厢情愿地试图猜测从迷你于右任更新这个星期吗？

Google.cn和Google.com的时刻我的测试表明没有像往常一样检查的差异。 更多即将到来，再加上提前在可能发生的变化的情况回顾一下。 敬请关注。

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哥本哈根峰会激发了一些媒体的激烈辩论，大部分更相关，而不是气候变化的国际政治。 其次是像一些壮观的作品马克·莱纳斯的 “卫报”上已较为温和的意见，像那些出现在单位“ ， 由内而外 ，试图了解中国和美国在这件事情的角色。

但是我就这个问题，最好的信息，周围仍是要在发现上海废钢博客的 。 他提醒我们，气候变化是不是也不可能是为政府和中国人民今天的首要任务。 这是一个“小区”的关注，完全是外国那些仍然令人担忧，是否他们的饮用水中含有的铅，或是否他们将需要一个防毒面具，呼吸北京的空气明天。

但回到这个问题：中国是否真的破坏哥本哈根协议？ 换句话说，是真的有准备签署一项协议，中国出人意料地拒绝了，破坏西方世界的奥巴马总统领导的英勇努力？

到底发生了什么在哥本哈根

你有没有注意到，当有一些非常重要的股权，政府组织首脑会议尽可能小，以得到一个有意义的协议，他们只能勉强接受在G组的新的参与者？ 气候首脑会议则正好相反，每个人都被邀请，碳足迹，越多越好。 已成为世界多边今天...尤其是当多边主义是在我们自己的利益。

气候变化，始终是一个伟大的政治课题，因为在谈判中的成功或失败所产生的问题将不会被认为在政治生活中的主角。 这是一个真正成功的唯一措施是国内公众的看法，会议结束后立即对这些科目。 和聪明的政治家，不要让机会通过编造一个好故事。

对奥巴马政府的谈判目标可以概括为：确保签署的协议是毫无意义的，足以造成工业大堂的小问题，足够强大的气候变化爱好者满意。 因为这显然是不可能的，有是一个B计划：确保无论发生任何事，这是别人的错。 这是在中国做一个优秀的合作伙伴。

部分为给在上海废钢职位的原因，部分是因为它不是一个民主国家，它可以控制内部的信息流通，中国是哥本哈根游戏比奥巴马少得多担心。 免费的内部压力，面临着非常温和的国际压力，中国领导人将在逻辑上拒绝任何协议，涉及到他们的国家牺牲。 他们也将忽视在国际媒体的语言给一个连贯的解释，提供了后哥本哈根指责的宏伟目标。

现在，我知道奥巴马的大使是不是在中国不是一个专家 ，但我不能相信他是如此无能无视上述事实。 奥巴马本人在一个月前，在中国，它是不可能的，他不知道明显的，中国永远不会签署一项协议，迫使她接受访问几乎每一个战略性产业的国际核查，并与电力暴露在世界和中国公众所有的中国的制度弱点。

我不会去说，中国和美国的立场是奥巴马和胡锦涛之间的预先安排，但我认为美国代表团到中国访问，期间和之后已经比大多数观察家所想象的更聪明。

自从“京都时代，美国是在头邪恶的碳排放。 奥巴马与他的前任不同，此刻他已经创造了一个奇迹：美国不作出任何重大让步的情况下，现在已成为气候变化政策的世界冠军。

与此同时，欧盟国家中，只有采取这种气候变化的东西，认真，再次被推到背景，因为他们缺乏可信的领导和奥巴马，聪明的美国人，已经为自己和最他的国家。

在此期间，气候正在发生变化......

我已经在媒体上读到的哥本哈根首脑会议后的最有趣的指责之一是，中国已经签署了一项协议，限制自己的排放量，防止发达国家。 这是愚蠢的，它可以使其成中国每日头条。 中国怎样才能防止美国/欧盟/日本从它们之间签署的一项协议，以减少自己的排放量？

，认真，如果我们要采取行动对付气候变化，我会建议：发达国家之间达成一项协议，就像我们做了这么多以前的事情，并付诸实践，即使没有中国呢？

是的，我知道，使有效减碳，所有国家都应该参与。 但同样可以说，关贸总协定/世贸组织和许多其他交易时，这并没有阻止我们从签约，并推入中国要晚得多。 一旦发达的世界是统一的，它总是要容易得多游说方面的一些标准，或不符合国家实施制裁。

但为什么做这一切时，很容易用更少的公共内容？

在本系列的前两个 员额 ，我们看到，中国是世界的语言保持了一套完整独立的词汇根和非代表他们的语音脚本，我们可以称之为一个单独的词系统。 出于这个原因，我认为，中国可能是最困难的语言得到充分的流畅性，无论对学生的语言背景。

但也有比单纯的语言的困难，特别是文化和政治的，更有趣的问题。 因为拒绝使用贷款和语音脚本是有意识的决策结果。 的确，有没有在语言本身，禁止进口的外来词或一个字母使用，有目前使用中的直接贷款，写拉丁字母，如DVD或KTV已经有一些例外。

中国有来自世界各地不同的并行的Word系统，以及政府在维护本系统有积极的作用。 然而，这项政策是不会单方面强加以上。 它肯定是鼓励教育系统，但中国的扬声器似乎遵循自然，往往喜欢的中国根，即使没有监督。 这是在与系统的尝试，以保护当地的条件，才发现，人们还是喜欢“电子邮件”，“快递ELECTRONIQUE”在许多国家的情况相反。

人居住在中国有着悠久的足够认识到作为一个不同的文明，如何知道中国是其悠久的历史和自己的状态。 这种话语是对西方人的刺激性，因为它提醒太多极端民族主义的信条回家。 但它有一个与那些信仰的本质区别：在中国的情况，这是事实。 正如我们之前所说的 ，中国是有道理的，看到自己作为一个文明的摇篮，它是从世界的主流，直到近代几乎独立生存，只有这样的文化。 这种文化意识的主要原因是为保存语言，因为我们知道，幸存的不同的制度，甚至混乱的时期。

当我们研究中国，我们不只是学习另一种语言，我们是一个平行世界的话，词汇的最后一个独立的系统学习和写作，人类仍然有。 这是最类似地球上的另一个星球的语言学习经验。 如果中国确实是这样努力地学习，这应提供足够的动力，任何人尝试它。

政治上的考虑

普通话本身并不是一个非常困难的语言，是什么使得它很难是其复杂的Word系统，这是没有必要的大部分（即语言可能仍然存在贷款和一个字母）。 该系统使得它很难外国人和中国沟通，这是中国教育的一个严重障碍。 在上个世纪的发展，一直是中国的主要优先事项，以恢复她昔日的辉煌，已拆除低效的文物，无闪烁，就像北京的城墙，。 中国的词和字符，最后以保持这些阻塞的纪念碑，是迄今为止最古老的所有。 这是一个奇迹，他们已经存活直到今天。

字符的未来似乎更安全方便的方法，在键盘上输入字符的发明，但他们的持久性是没有保证的手段。 许多著名的语言学家认为拼音作为主要书面语言和消除人物的日常生活，而不是鲁迅，或已故的约翰·弗朗西斯至少使用。 虽然我很佩服这些人，他们的工作，我完全反对他们的位置作为一个原则问题。 我不认为任何人都不会相信我在这个年龄的经济学家，甚至在新中国哲学 ，但我必须这样说的：效率是不是最高值。 事实上，它甚至不是在本身的价值，但只是一种手段。 和悲伤的手段将是恢复中国的伟大，如果有留下什么恢复。

我认为这是明确的大多数中国人的今天，他们的话语系统是太珍贵了，为了提高效率，放弃它。 然而，一些合理的让步，可这可能确保系统的长期生存。 特别是，接受外国贷款为新技术的话，可能会促进国外研究和认真开始真正的中国人才外流的外国人才纳入中国的访问。 完全接受了拉丁字母代表语音外国专有名词（已经被用于非正式）也将是对效率的一个步骤，在不牺牲系统的心脏，将所有想学英语的中国有很大的帮助。

除了考虑的实际问题，同样重要的是心态背后的中国词语系统。 所有的语言在世界不断增长的常用词汇有很大一部分，是人类共同的文化和大多数文化的认同，因为这部分只会成为更大的技术进步，合理的解决方法是采取一种共同的语言沟通。 通过决定远离除了这个系统，对中国的语言选择代表世界各地反对的立场，并以某种方式延续了传统的古村，甚至在全球联网的年龄隔离。 中国互联网社区和偏狭的误解 ，从它出现的文化之间，在一定程度上，这种选择的后果。

在中国的关系中发挥的语言与世界的一部分可能不是第一重要的。 但即使在今天，这部分是不是可以忽略不计，在通信技术的进步，没有人知道多么重要，它在未来将成为。 最终，它最多只能到中国来决定他们自己想要的是什么语言。 我们只能等待，看看，希望他们找到一种方式留在我们的连接，同时保留其独特的遗产词。

我回上海了一些有趣的轶事和日本的一些轻度有趣的图片。 不幸的是，我将不能够发表任何因为这一周，我在中国的工作行程忙碌，特别是因为这是汉语水平考试周。 是一样好，我想，毕竟这是不Japanyouren，有有趣的旅行博客，在那里，如果您正在寻找一个笑。

在我消失了一个星期到我的学习巢穴之前，让我解释一下你再次HSK的业务。 这是短期的汉语水平考试，或汉语水平考试，它是官方的标准来衡量你的普通话水平，在内地所有大学接受。 这也是一个很疯狂的考试，旨在挤考生的大脑在3小时内尽可能多的语言信息，然后把它衡量的统计术语。

因为它发生了HSK考试并不主要衡量你的中国一级。 它测量你的决心，耐力和沉着，你的信心在盘后更好的生活。 它好的一面，除了强化你的灵魂，是它给你的好味道异常激烈，中国的教育系统和他们的大学入学考试。 它甚至让人联想科举考试 ，旧的科举考试，选择的官僚机构，其中著名造成一些考生失去自己的智慧和成为天王 。 对于严重（疯狂）足够的尝试了解中国的外国人，这方面的经验是必不可少的。

但回的事实：这个星期六17日是HSK的先进，我要出11个可能的水平，争取为9级。 我需要迫切得到这个程度，击败我记录自己的光荣的唯一目标。 这是奥林匹克精神。

我对“四书”思想的实践论文

下面是考试的一些细节：阅读部分包含一个+超过4000个字符，相当于在一个标准格式的小说有10页的文本，文本，你必须回答15个问题（不选择A，B ，C，D，但实际上回答了一句）。 有一个总......这部分为15分钟。 我测试了一个土生土长的中国朋友，那是她只花了阅读的文本以正常速度的时间。

写作是另一个可怕的，因为你用来输入计算机，当它来手写字符，你甚至不知道从哪里开始。 至少在这里，你得到30分钟400-600字的短文，所以你确实有时间来阅读你正在写什么，并认为如果你真的想表达你自己的观点，在一个考试，其中包含演习喜欢：

“---社会朝着更加科学发展观导致我们的人 ”（一个和谐，谐波B-，C-风琴D-激素）

这个例子不完全是文字的，我从内存引用。 点是汉语水平考试，具有较强的北京风味，和一些短语，直接从中国共产党手册和舵手的理论。 在某种程度上，这感觉就像一遍科举四书：毛泽东思想，理论3三个代表“，科学发展观，正如那句老话：他们已经改变了，并没有任何改变。

当我预定飞往日本的航班我的最后一分钟，我感到惊喜，我有一个非常合理的价格为10月1日国庆节。 当我去浦东机场，我恍然大悟：满街都是空在上海，当时没有人飞，因为他们在家里都粘到电视机的眼睛，看着数以千计的男女，看他们华丽的傻礼服， 行进在北京长安大街。

我有机会观看30分钟的阅兵式，我等待着登上我的飞机。 我不得不说，这是美丽的。 果然有像cringeworthy时刻当电视显示的共产主义模式的农民，工人和矿工 ，马里奥兄弟一样闪耀在256色。 但当然，良好的虚伪交易始终是强制性的事件，在这些国家，在中国和其他地方。 和执行有关的，我看过不少在平壤著名的群体性事件几个，我敢肯定朝鲜看着这个令人羡慕的是白色的，如果他们的状态通道，甚至照顾到广播。

这一切的爱国主义显示提醒我的小毅，我曾与上周的谈话。 这是后我们看了电视上的广告，一个小女孩站在天安门广场上吱吱叫，阴森的小孩音：“妈妈我爱你！”（妈妈，我爱你），以及类似的女孩说，同在西藏拉萨布达拉宫寺庙前。 屏幕接着是白色的，一条消息过来：“祖国我爱你”。 祖国，我爱你。 我不记得这是该公司宣布，但广告一直呈现持续几个月，我看着它，这是第十一次。

我有一种微妙的肚子的那一天，和推到阻力的限制，我想不出帮助把这个话题：

“这是荒谬的，”我直截了当地说，“你不能爱一个国家，像你爱你的母亲！”

“当然可以，”小易说，“你不明白中国人的感情！”

“是啊，没错。”

咿呀学语的幼童和人民的感情。 这是午饭前，我可以采取尽可能。 我很后悔，我的话在所有。

“我们的国家是像所有的中国人的母亲，”她继续说，“这是他们的意思。”

“是啊，”确定“，除了它是不一样的。 一位母亲给你的生活，她将永远爱你，无论发生什么事，不管你什么错误你多么愚蠢行为，她将在那里为你。 一个国家，如果你不遵守，只是抛弃你，甚至把你到死“

“嗯，这是一个不同类型的母亲。 如果你失败了，处罚是可怕的。 如果你努力工作并取得成功，奖品是大得多。 这是一个伟大的母亲更高的赌注，什么是错的？“

“没有错，只是不爱”

“是的，”她坚持。 “或不基督徒教导神的爱，是不是他更可怕，如果你不能表现甚至你的生活是不够的，你会得到一个永恒的痛苦吗？”

“我......”

我闭嘴。 她有一些点。 特别是，我不相信基督教的上帝，此外，2000年前，他们发明了一种母亲玛丽正是为了对付旧约粗糙的边缘。 但它是真实的，在宗教和政治，在西方很多人都觉得作为中国人的感情爱的同类。 所以这是不是真的一本关于中国的讨论，但对爱国主义更普遍。

我的问题是，我不接受这个词是指一个国家的爱。 原因之一，只能人之间发生，有时可能与动物，但没有用的东西，一种感觉，因为我明白爱。 绝对不会像“国家”的抽象和简单的可操作的概念。 但理所当然的，这仅仅是一个语言的问题，我没有权力规定如何应使用“爱”字，更如何“爱”在中国就业。 尽管如此，对爱情有一个更引人注目的为祖国的论点：我认为这是在党的“爱”的最佳利益。

让我们来看看事实。 人类社会有某种方式，组织和权力需要被别人举行。 在过去，这是部落，皇帝或封建领主。 现在，它是民族国家，没有什么特别不妥。 所有形式的组织需要尊重公民工作和参与，它是在每个人的利益，相应地对待他们，一旦已经确立其合法性。 因此，我明白重要的是要尊重和改善国家的工作，我尝试这样做，就像我为我公司或我的大学。 但像母亲一样爱他们吗？

这可能是我从一个非常欧洲的角度来看，尽管绝不是主流，甚至有发言。 也许我没有考虑到像中国这样的国家的具体情况。 欧洲人使用的是傲慢和祖国最致命的恋人，直到他们过多的感情带来败坏和灭亡。 中国的爱国主义从来没有引起任何灾难甚至可以媲美幅度，而不是工作很好地保存来自外国强加的苦难人民。 因此，许多中国人的感情是可以理解的，如果不是今天不一定有利。

仍然，关键的问题，我们要问自己的是：这些感受在公民的利益，并在人类作为一个整体的利益呢？ 可以真正的世界和平，如果公民和他们的国家之间的关系是一种盲目的爱，像孩子的母亲吗？ 当有利益冲突，是可爱的孩子不会被迫打自己心爱的最后的后果吗？ 由于利益冲突和贪婪的统治者生活的事实，不会消失，是不矛盾的爱与世界和平的理想，我们最信奉的学说？

我想听到这个意见。 当然，据我所知，很多多愁善感的人，爱自己的国家的感觉是非常活跃的，有一点解释，因为它只是一种感觉。 但中国往往是非常合理的，并在控制自己的感情，当他们选择爱是很少盲目的激情，而是因为他们认为它是一个好的选择。 我怀疑他们的爱国主义是囚犯的两难境地 ：在大多数情况下，如果其他国家采取行动爱国，只有理性的态度是做同样的。

但我想，如果人们实际上是遵循这个逻辑（最终防守的态度），或者是真的那么爱自己的国家和他们的国旗，他们甚至不认为它。 如果你不想想，你真的相信一个和平的世界是可能的，在长期的吗？

也许我想太多有时。 也许我来自长崎，我刚才看到的人类造成的恐怖，最令人不寒而栗的展览之一，写的事实，可能有一些影响，今天我的想法。 仍然，我站在我写在这里。

你有什么意见？

（PS.就同一议题，也看到这篇文章只是上发表Chinageeks的 ）

今年夏天我学到的东西之一，而我可能留在欧洲的假期，中国并没有真的离开我了。 不仅仅是一个国家，它是一种自然的力量，对人类的另一面，现在是我生命的一部分。 中国是永远存在的，她是无处不在，出现在意想不到的情况。

以西班牙为例。 主要是中国社会有新的，不流利的语言，从一个单点，在中国的起源：小青田县，温州上游。 当涉及到语言，西班牙语是没有太大的比他们更好，整个形势是识字老外的机会。 虽然一个简单的“你好”是英雄的一天通常是不够的，一些准备工作产生更好的结果。 只是信步走进一家中国店随便删除一个Qingtianese问候，并发表评论的非凡历史的老县，石雕家的中国-西班牙。 这让你受欢迎。 并且可以喝茶，练习几个小时就结束的中国谈话。

以下是一个真实的故事发生在我的假期的最后一天。 它包括一个具有非凡的睡眠能力的中国家庭，和一队的西班牙冒险鸭。 我希望你喜欢它：

它是从毕尔巴鄂飞往巴黎的第一个早晨，我被安排与法国航空连接到上海。 当我走进客舱的A319飞机，标志着我立即坐在前排的一个中国家庭：一个中年的母亲与她的儿子。

当时她身穿在一百名称的风格不成形紫色外套，她十几岁的儿子在韩国的髋关节，跳帽衫覆盖他的头部。 他们站在在早期飞行的商业氛围。 但我看到他们，我忍不住微笑的是，他们已经快睡着之前，我什至自己的座位上。 至于我可以看到，他们并没有切换一个相当忙碌的飞行时间为自己的立场。

从一开始的旅程证明，试图为我的神经。 当我们起飞，从飞机后部的一声巨响，随后成长壮大，因为我们飞到振动。 一段时间没有别的事，但后来，当我们接近法国，飞机突然偏向一方，和比利牛斯山脉转动180度，在我们身边，直到我们被赶回西，从我们从哪里来。

噪音变得更糟的是，和地理概念的乘客越来越急。 圣塞瓦斯蒂安镇第二次出现在我们下面，只是这一次地面似乎更为密切。 所有服务呼叫的蜂鸣声一前一后去了。 我环顾四周，其他乘客和他们都四处张望。 谁也没有说话。

最后，机组人员出现在过道，提供鳞次栉比的事实的官方版本：在起飞飞行物体相撞2发动机的叶片，产生爆炸，我们正在经历的后续振动。 这是一种常见的发生，有没有危险。 作为正常的安全程序的一部分，船长决定返回家机场进行维修。

“这可能是一只鸟，说：”当她到我们行的空姐。

“一只鸟吗？”管家笑道，“这是一个团队的大肥鸭！”

我想，他已指示保持光的心情。 我努力笑，想象在涡扇发动机的转动鸭子界，我们挣扎着爬过去，锋利的巴斯克山谷。

***

无尽的飞行后，我们返回到毕尔巴鄂机场安全降落。 正如我们在等待下船，试验证实，飞机当天完成。 我们必须首先拿起我们的行李，然后去法国航空公司办事处二楼，要求新的票证。 像往常一样，我的行李箱是最后一个出现在轧制带，和我到办公室的时候，已经有一条长龙约鸭子灾区的A319飞机的长度，因为嘈杂的每一点。

人群增长不羁。 一些法国乘客高谈阔论真正的革命精神，与广大人民群众，开展对所有飞过的生物，包括鸭，空客，法国航空公司飞行员的口号。 由于我是最后一次，有没有在排队的多点，所以我只是站在一边的方式来表示我的不满。 然后，我注意到的重点逐渐转移，热衷Robespierres队列前冲着自己的愤怒，一些身份不明的目标。 我走过去细看。

这是中国人的家庭。

显然，他们不明白的指示，拿起行李，和他们来直前别人的航空公司办事处。 他们第一次，他们表明无意放弃自己的立场。 相反，他们抱着它令人钦佩。 母亲，她激烈的眼睛布满后卫，而儿子坚守办公桌。 他们显然训练有素，在冲突性的队列，他们似乎不为所动暴徒。

语言，情况并不理想。 母亲尖叫在Qingtianese，翻译成Chinglese和精心制作的西班牙式回答法航雇员的儿子，而法国的办公室负责人难以置信地盯着。 我独自一人，和我忠实的朋友的电子词典是无法在我的袋子的底部。 但时间采取行动，我没有动摇，在生死存亡的关键时刻。

我砍前的权利，并在“阙PASA？ 什么事？“ 所有四个面转向我一次。 队列中突然变得安静。

在西班牙语中的雇员。喊道：“他们希望到中国去！”

在中国的儿子喊道：“我们希望到中国去！”。

各方的立场似乎对我很一致，很容易达成共识的时机已经成熟。 但进一步的调查证明，这是不完全如此。 我设法重建了以下事实：

一家人睡通过飞行，直到我们降落在毕尔巴鄂。 然后，他们还没有了解试点的强烈重音的消息，他们粉碎了飞机直接连接的办公桌，他们已经重定向到航空公司办事处。 和他们敢如此迫切，因为他们只有一小时，以赶上转机。 他们要求的是立即登上他们的飞机，他们在巴黎这个员工的整体态度相当可疑。

因为他们以为他们是在巴黎举行。

问题是不容易解释。 不仅母亲的普通话和我一样坏，但她也被确定，她有一个根深蒂固的常识。 他们刚刚空运到巴黎，因此，这是巴黎，她会从一个老外没有废话。 我用我的劝说。 指出如何纪念品商店出售的斗牛士，和而不是旅游eiffels。 最后，年幼的儿子明白了，他帮我说服她。 定居的事实：我们是在西班牙，有没有直接到上海的航班从该机场。

其余的是相当容易管理，几分钟后，我们三人留下了一个新的售票办公室。 一旦得到充分表达他们的无限感激，我忍不住问儿子：

“But, how could you not realize that this is the same airport as before?”

“Well,” he smiled shyly, “Mum was just telling me that she finds all airports in Europe look strikingly similar!”

And his mother, who was tough but good-humoured, found it rather funny, and we all joined in a face-saving laughter. Then I knew I was engaged as official interpreter of the sleeping family.

***

In the end, my work as a translator served my interests well. We got our new tickets before anyone else, the last three places left to connect with the evening Paris-Shanghai. The revolutionaries were so stunned by the performance that they forgot to guillotine us, and the Air France employee gave us some free lunch vouchers for the VIP lounge. To make our wait more pleasant, she said, the company was offering one of their specialty dishes in the “Restaurant des Mondes”.

It was still far from the Spanish lunch time, so we had to wait while they opened the kitchen for us. The prospect of a free lunch worked well to improve the mood of my Chinese friends, and we had a lively chat in the VIP sofas. I took the chance to impress them with my baidupedic knowledge of their hometown. After that they opened up to me, and the last lines of suspicion finally vanished from the woman's brow.

I listened distractedly as the son informed me of the state of the rap scene in Zhejiang. A terrible state that was, apparently, and I waited for a chance to switch topics. It was his mother that I found most intriguing. All the while she was sitting very still, as if lost in her own thoughts. She had an outside appearance that in China would be classified as “peasant”, but her proud, resolute eyes didn't quite fit in the picture. What was she doing flying around with her single son? I finally asked him.

As it turned out, she was a renowned chef back home. Qingtian is the origin of thousands of Chinese restaurants across Europe, and their extended family had made a fortune with a popular chain of Chinese food. She had come as an expert to establish new recipes in the family restaurants in Spain, all the while teaching her son the secrets of the Chinese cuisine. They had toured the country for three months, making the company's food “more delicious, more authentically Chinese”.

“Her most famous recipe is Beijing Duck,” said the kid, licking his lips, “You have never tried anything like that!”

“I would love to have a chance to try it,” I answered, suddenly hungry for duck.

Then the mother, who hadn't said a word all this time, looked at me with a strange smile. I felt there was an invitation coming. Instead, she opened her eyes wide and nervously shook her son's shoulder.

“Heavens!” she cried, “we still haven't picked up our luggage!”

***

When I took them down to luggage collection, their belongings were still lonely turning around on the band, a number of shapeless pieces covered in woven tarpaulin. As we loaded them one by one onto a trolley, the son suddenly found something was wrong. It was the last packet, a cardboard box with some strange little holes pierced on the top. He held the box on his knees and showed me one of the corners where it had been torn open. The box was empty.

The woman was very upset. She started moving her arms up and down and speaking in her sing-song dialect at an alarming speed. I couldn't understand a word of what she was saying, but the replies of her son were more composed, and I could more or less make out the gist of it:

“I told you we couldn't take them on a plane, mum!”, he was saying.

“But how can we pass the long winter without them?”, she replied.

Suddenly I had a very dark premonition. While they were busy arguing, I walked over to the broken box and examined it carefully. As I held it up in front of me, a small, delicate object floated down from the broken corner. It was a feather.

I dropped the box as if it burned my hands, and I kicked it behind the rolling band were it wouldn't be seen. I was in panic now, and I joined the arguing party with my own version of alarmed mandarin:

“We have to het out of here, NOW!”, I said.

“What? But the box?,” said the mother.

“Forget it!” I pushed the trolley towards the door, “we will see to that later!”

“What? But we have to file a complaint. They might have found …”

“No!”

I tried to control my nerves, as I envisioned charges for terrorism, and the dire diplomatic consequences of China's national dish being presented as evidence of the crime. I tried to relax telling myself that at least there hadn't been any human casualties.

“Please help us,” she said.

“We can't do this now! Spain is a bureaucratic country, these things take a long time…” I muttered. “And anyway I'm sure your little friends are going to be fine!”

She gave me another inquisitive glance, like the first time I suggested she was not in Paris. She was clearly reconsidering about my sanity.

“Well, excuse me ,” she said, “but they are important to me, and if you don't want to help me I will have to file the complaint myself”

Just at that moment the airport PA system cracked with a life-saving announcement. All the passengers of the cancelled flight were asked to go back immediately to the second floor, were new information was awaiting us from the captain.

“Quick, this must be our lunch, let's go before we miss it!” I translated, and this argument finally seemed convincing enough for the stubborn lady.

***

On the second floor, the slick French captain was putting in practice the company's open information policy. The maintenance staff had just confirmed—he said—that it was indeed the impact of external objects on the engine that had caused the vibration. The strange bodies had been already extracted and brought in from the hangar for analysis. The decision to return to the airport had proven a good choice, as it was the chief engineer's opinion that we would have never made it to Paris.

A drop of cold sweat fell down my right temple as I considered the chances of those little animals finding their way into the turbine. Even if they managed to tear open the box and then break free from under the piles of luggage, even if they could unlatch the hold door with their little beaks, still, how could they fly over to the engine? It seemed impossible. I remembered the laws of fluid dynamics, and how turbulent airflows exhibit nonlinear, chaotic behaviours. For the first time in my life I felt I understood the real meaning of the Chaos Theory.

In the meantime, the mother had sent her boy to inquire about lost objects, and he was explaining their problem to the captain in such a perfectly unintelligible English that the brave man could only smile politely. They looked around at a loss, only to see that their laowai friend was nowhere to be found. I had just in time slipped into the gentlemen's restroom.

At this point, the airport loudspeakers buzzed again:

Passengers of the AF2435 to Paris, please proceed into our VIP lounge. As a special attention, we are offering you the chef's specialty in our exclusive “Restaurant des Mondes”

***

I joined the family again as they walked down the corridor to the VIP Lounge. It seemed that the luxury meal kindly offered by Air France had conquered the heart of the frightful woman. Her expression showed no more pain for the loss of her beasts, and I hoped she had decided to give up the search. Presently, she was impressed by the quality of the service, and her mood was chatty.

“They know how to treat a client, in France,” she said conversationally, “back in China it's not even comparable.”

“Oh, sure, great service here,”

“Even if they don't have any proper backup plans,” she noted, “they are just great at doing nice surprises.”

“Oh, yeah, you can count on the French for surprises”

“It is all in the attitude, isn't it?”, she said, and her only child nodded in agreement.

As we approached the “Restaurant des Mondes”, the atmosphere was so relaxed that I thought we had passed the worst. I just had to get them on our plane right after lunch, and there would be no more nonsense of lost object complaints. Then I saw the stewardess at the restaurant door, smiling. She held a large sign written in all the major languages of the World, including mandarin. It read:

TODAYS SPECIAL DISH:

“Thin-sliced duck Beijing style”

In case there were any doubts, underneath the text there was a colourful picture of a team of ducks thinly sliced as if by fast rotating blades, swimming in the dark sauce of the traditional Beijing recipe.

I tried with my body to hide the sign from their view, but I was too late. There was not much point anyway, the pictures were all over the place, and the food was coming out any minute. As we sat down, I peeped at her out of the corner of my eye. Her expression was enigmatic, the initial apprehension had turned into something more lofty. Was it triumph? I trembled.

The dishes were served and, unexpectedly, nothing happened. I glanced at my two friends. The were obviously enjoying their meal, emitting now and then favorable grunts and other judgements with the assurance of the true connoisseur. Then, halfway through their ducks, they looked at each other with an understanding smile and, following some mysterious signal, the lady suddenly stood up, knocking her chair behind her, and crying out loudly:

“I want to speak to the person who cooked this!”

There was a spark in her eye as she glared at the kitchen door on the other side of the dining room. I could not think of anything to say this time, so I just sat still, helpless as the slings and arrows flew swiftly towards their target.

Seeing that no help was forthcoming from my side, the mother ignored me and took direct action. She strode across the room and, without further preambles, she thrust open the kitchen door, roaring in Qingtianese. In a minute, the cook came out sporting a high chef hat and howling even louder than her. To my surprise, he was also employing some variety of Zhejiang dialect.

Then something strange happened. The moment he saw the chef, the son stood up and ran across the dining room charging like a fighting bull, and when the three of them were at a close distance, they came together in a long, warm hug.

I stood rather awkwardly next to them, wondering what was next. The chatter of the adults had risen to undecipherable speeds under the flow of emotions. I looked at the teenager for an explanation, but he was too absorbed speaking to the cook. Finally, I managed to catch some fraction of the conversation:

“Uncle Li, we knew it had to be you, nobody else in the World can cook Beijing Duck like mother! What are you doing here?”

“You know, I got a catering contract with Air France, didn't I tell you?”

“Uncle, you really need to help us, mother is really worried! This laowai is with us, but his Chinese is so-so, and he just doesn't get it!”

“Say, my boy, what is the problem?”

“It is the new down-filled coats that mum bought to take home for the winter. She was so upset when we found out that they've been stolen from our luggage…”

It has been a while since I last wrote, and now I feel the typical blogger's guilt, the same that drives some weaker souls to start all their blog posts with unasked apologies. But worry not, we are not that kind of blog. We don't ask for forgiveness here, and that is because we already punish ourselves even before facing the public. What better penance than playing the role of a lab rat for a sociological experiment? Using our own body to test in the open some potentially lethal phenomena?

What follows contains shocking images made public here for the first time. Sensitive readers are advised to close this website now before reading on.

The laowai phenomenon

Everyone familiar with China has heard of this phenomenon. When a person with non-Asian features wanders in the country he gets hundreds of local fingers pointed at him, as he is promptly and thoroughly informed that he is a foreigner (“laowai !”). Even in the 21st century, after 30 years of reform and opening, this behavior is prevalent in most areas out of the foreign-populated centres of Shanghai and Beijing.

Although some foreigners still take offense, it is by now widely acknowledged that the “laowai call” is just a neutral form of expressing curiosity in a country that is almost entirely uni-racial. It has also been explained as part of a socializing device that consists of stating the obvious to each other, like “Hey, you are back from work!” or “hey, you are a laowai”.

Fig1: Standard testing equipment: “laowai has come!” – “laowai has left!”

But enough theory now. This Summer we took a completely different approach and decided to test the Chinese people's humour by entering some of the most dangerous bumpkin infested areas of the country wearing the garment in Fig 1. The sampling areas selected were: the tourist village of Zhujiajiao and a fake market in Shanghai.

The challenge was phenomenal, and the reaction of the public was correspondingly massive and spectacular, with whole streets turning their heads or popping out of windows to share in the excitement. It was a great performance of what I believe is called “Kazakh humour”, its main characteristic being that nobody is sure who is laughing at who.

Among the passers-by we discerned and duly registered in the log book the 3 following attitudes:

1. Conspirational – Those who were laughing with us.
2. Malicious – Those who were laughing at us.
3. Annoyed – Those who felt they were being laughed at.

Fortunately, the Chinese passed the humour test remarkably well, falling mostly into category #1, with some children and local lowbrows accounting for the #2s. We didn't encounter any crazy patriot accusing us of hurting people's feelings, which confirms my previous notion that those people can only be so silly when under the anonymity of the internet. In any case, this T-shirt is a must if you want to be famous in a mid-size Chinese town in the first 5 minutes of your arrival.

Some more pictures of the experiment:

In the fake market

Relaxing facial muscles after hours of being pointed at

The next challenge

If you liked this performance stay tuned for the next experiment. We have obtained the necessary gear to boratize this time an altogether different social group. Equipped with the 7” mangy moustache and the genuine garment in Fig 2, this specimen will make its appearance at the next fashion show in the exclusive M1NT bar. How will the high society in expat Shanghai (more than 50% clad in fake Paul Smith) fare in our test?

Fig 2. Whiskered specimen used for laboratory testing

One of the essential purposes of a government is to ensure the safety of the citizens and, from this point of view, the Chinese government has failed spectacularly in Urumqi.

To begin with, it did not afford sufficient protection to the Han victims during the night of 5th July. Some wrong decisions were most likely taken during the crisis, and the leaders of the forces of order owe at least some explanation to the Chinese.

But the CPC has failed in a more crucial way, which cannot be ascribed to simple human error in time of emergency. It has failed to create the conditions for the peaceful coexistence of the Chinese; it has failed in the very objective that it states as its own: the creation of a harmonious society . 200 Chinese killed by Chinese are the clear proof of this failure.

I will analyze in this post some of the reasons why the interethnic policies may have failed and what can be done to improve the situation. There are many good arguments both for and against the independence of Xinjiang, which would make for a fascinating discussion, but I will not touch the subject here. Whatever the theory says, the reality is that Xinjiang is and shall remain Chinese for the foreseeable future. Large numbers of both Han and Uyghur can equally call Xinjiang their homeland, and these peoples have to learn to live together for their own sake. Let's try to be constructive and see how this can be achieved.

The intentions of the CPC

I began by saying that the government has failed, which is obvious. But to be completely fair, interethnic relations is an extremely difficult area where almost every government in the World has failed to some degree. Looking at the region where Xinjiang sits, and comparing with interethnic and interreligious strife in similar nearby countries we have to acknowledge that the record of Xinjiang in the last 20 years is far from catastrophic.

Some argue that there are no worse problems –fundamentalism, suicide bombings, war- just because the Han are repressing the Uyghur population to inhuman extremes. This is easily proven wrong, and anyone who has been to the area knows this much. Moreover, a simple look at the World can tell us that even the most extreme repression by the army does not guarantee peace, but rather the opposite, as seen in Uzbekistan, Chechnya or Palestine. It is not mainly force, but prosperity and stability that have kept the Uyghurs silent.

The party's interethnic policies have failed, but the very existence of these policies and their actual enforcement speaks a lot for the nature of the CPC's intentions. The clear goal of the party is to guarantee China's unity, stability and harmony , it is not and has never been to impose the supremacy of the Han. Granted, China is an authoritarian regime, and individual rights are not always respected, in Xinjiang or in any other province. China needs democracy and rule of law, but this has nothing to do with the oppression of the Uyghur by the Han.

Interethnic policies

Let's take a look at the essential of these interethnic policies, which mostly come in the form of positive discrimination: 10 added points in the gaokao exams for access to university, partial exclusion from the single child policy, quotas (but rather low ) in the administration and, most surprising of all: an explicit policy of lenient treatment for non-political crimes, which is known to all Chinese in the form of the common assumption: “be careful with Uyghurs, they can carry knives”.

Another group of policies are the ones destined to avert the danger of Islamic fundamentalism. These include prohibition to wear headscarves and other religious attire in schools and government buildings, prohibition for under 18 year olds to attend prayers at the mosque, and strict control of the clergy. While we can accuse these policies of offending sensibilities, we might as well say that France has a similar headscarf prohibition, and that China is consistent with its clear principle of forbidding religions to engage in politics. An enlightened rule, in my opinion, more so in a place where there is reasonable grounds for fearing religious fundamentalism.

Other more recent policies, decided by the maximum leader of the party in the region, Wang Lequan , are less justifiable. In particular the one related to having all the schools teach solely in Mandarin makes no sense and can only spark resentment among the Uyghurs. The logic of this decision is that all citizens need to be proficient in mandarin, but this point is not technically sound, as it has been proven that a full bilingual education from early age is compatible with proficiency in two languages.

Grievances

One interesting point in the conflict of July and its aftermath is that it was never made clear what exactly the protesters wanted. The WUC had plenty of media time, but it didn't present a consistent program. Kadeer dedicated her appearances to send out casualty figures and to deny her role in the events, relating them to the Guangdong incident. As a result, it is difficult to know which of the Chinese policies are most resented by Uyghurs, other than being “colonized and repressed”. The absence of a moderate Uyghur voice makes things very difficult to understand, another consequence of the heavy handed government of Wang Lequan.

In any case, it looks like it is not so much a matter of one policy in particular, but a problem of attitudes between the Uyghurs and he Han. A problem of integration and mutual misunderstanding that is so typical of interethnic conflict in any Western country, rather than a conflict between the oppressors and the oppressed. This is consistent with many of the observations of foreigners living in Xinjiang.

Much has been written in the West about positive discrimination, and you might be familiar with the kind of problems it can create. There is a natural reaction of resentment in the poorest elements of the majority group at what they see as unjust favouritism towards minorities. But worst of all, policies such as “ 2 restraints, 1 leniency ” lend themselves to abuse and often benefit the worst individuals in the minority, starting a vicious circle of negative selection.

In China positive discrimination is particularly vicious because the Han, encouraged by the official media, tend to take these few concessions as a definitive proof of their generosity towards the Uyghurs, which then gives them carte blanche to engage in all sorts of discriminating behaviours, in many cases not even realizing that they are being unfair .

The Uyghurs react to this perceived –and often very real- discrimination by adopting the role of eternal victims and recalling the invasion of the bingtuans , or the dilution of their people, which is hardly a strong argument as: 1- A large part of the bingtuan population is not installed in Uyghur areas, 2- The Chinese have been doing bingtuan-like activities in Xinjiang long before the Uyghurs even arrived and 3- Chinese companies have all the right to establish in any areas of their country as long as they are not forcefully expropriating the original owners.

Some possible solutions

In conclusion, I think this is not so much a matter of bingtuan, oppression or ethnical dilution, but rather a matter of complete insensibility from both sides Han and Uygur, and most of all from the Chinese government in Xinjiang, whose head only cares about pleasing Beijing .

I know the really important problem – lack of democracy and rule of law – will not change in Urumqi until it does in Beijing. But without looking so far, I have some modest suggestions to the CPC of Xinjiang that should be easy to try and improve the situation. All relatively simple points, more gestures and attitudes than large power concessions:

• Don't forcefully modernize Kashgar declaring it backward .
• Don't force monolingual schools on people for their own benefit.
• Impose 100% bilingual schools for all in majority Uyghur areas.
• Stop, progressively and with tact, the leniency policies.
• Enforce the laws against discrimination in job postings .

But most important of all, I have one advice for the government of China that is not restricted only to Xinjiang: Actively promote mutual respect and understanding among different cultures and races.

This ability is seriously lacking in most Chinese of all ethnicities, as this essential part of their education has for years been substituted by clichéd touristic dances and children in costumes. This spells trouble for China not only with the minorities, but also in other regions where it wants to earn respect and expand its influence, like Africa or South America.

It is common knowledge that studying a foreign language involves studying a culture. Consciously or not, that is the main reason why people enjoy it. If it weren't for its cultural content, a language would be little more than an empty set of code-words and rules designed with an exasperatingly faulty logic. And learning languages would be just like memorizing the phone directory, useful knowledge in some situations, sure, but hardly worth years of study.

But languages are vehicles of culture, and that is why we find them fascinating. When you study a language, and especially when you study it in its natural habitat – in a country where it is the mother tongue – you are continuously absorbing the elements of that country's culture. At the surface level, these learnings are obvious, like when your local barber tells you the story of the Old Fool and the Mountain . But there are deeper levels where the language in itself, through its structure and its semantic relations, carries a cultural load that may go unnoticed by all but the most careful students.

During my practice for the HSK exam these last months, I went through thousands of new words and hundreds of chengyus (the ubiquitous 4-character constructions/idioms that Chinese use almost like words). And when I was fed up of memorizing I would let my mind drift for a while, musing over the learnt vocabulary, and sometimes I ended up finding unexpected meanings.

Here and (perhaps) in future posts I will copy some of the notes I did while studying. Some are just funny misunderstandings, some come loaded with philosophical connotations, and some are surely just the result of my own imagination. Warning: I will indulge in some vast generalizations and home-made anthropology, please bear with me and add your righteous insults in the comments section. Here's the first three expressions, all baidu linked for examples:

下不了台 - Xia bu liao tai

This is an expression in Chinese that literally means: Cannot get off the stage. It is used when somebody is embarrassing you in public, particularly when somebody says things that make everyone focus their attention on you. Then he is scolding you, or praising you, or otherwise treating you ”xia bu liao tai”.

It struck me as very Chinese in the way it is used as a negative expression, similar to the English to embarrass. But in English the negative expression is more often the opposite, to be “upstaged” ( ie. sent to the back of the stage). Which comes to illustrate this difference between Western and Chinese individuals, the former generally enjoying some degree of public attention while the latter prefer to pass unnoticed and blend in the crowd.

英伦三岛 – YingLun San Dao

This is one of the most perplexing expressions I have come across in Chinese. It literally means “The three islands of England”, using a phonetical approximation of England (“Yinlun”) that strikes me as pedantic, as it is not the usual name Yingguo 英国.

But the pedantic speaker (or the “Autentic Engrish Vila” advert) is, I am afraid, making a fool of himself. I might be missing something, but last time I checked England was not an island, nor were there three islands in the British Isles, however you look at it. The garbled definition on Baidupedia doesn't help much either.

This seems to be an old expression, so my guess is someone in the times of the Qing decided thatEngland was a Kingdom of 3 islands. And no amount of insistence nor letters from ambassador Macartney would change the minds of the mandarins. So I believe this expression shows another particular trait of Chinese culture, and particularly of Chinese politics. It can be summarized in the phrase ”This is what the party says, and we don't care what reality thinks”. A nice little example with pigeons can be found here.

北京，背景 and the tones of English

This one is a problem of pronunciation. I have observed that everytime I hear the word bèijǐng (背景) , meaning “background”, I automatically think of běijīng (北京) , meaning “Beijing”. And even though I am perfectly aware of the tones employed by the speaker (the 4th tone in bei is usually very obvious), I still can't help myself from thinking of the city of Beijing, and often pushing the misunderstanding to absurd extremes.

After many times of unconsciously making this mistake, I came to the consclusion that I was influenced by the English pronunciation: Usually when we say Beijing in English we tend to pronounce it in a way that sounds almost like a 4th tone/3rd tone, that is “Bèijǐng”. So inevitably my brain is hard-wired to associate this sound with the capital of China, and I am lost in conversation everytime it comes up.

And one question in case somebody knows: what tones do we normally use when speaking in a non-tonal language like English? My guess is that most of the times, in neutral, non interrogative sentences, we use a combination of the 4th and the light tone for the stressed and non-stressed syllables respectively.

And more to come

I still have lots of notes in my studybooks so if I get some good feedback I will roll them out little by little. Let me know what is your interpretation of the above.

This week I had some interesting conversations on other blogs , mostly regarding my state of internet blockdom and the possible actions that a webmaster can take to solve this problem. I will share here some conclusions that might be of interest.

Just to make sure we don't forget anything, I will go first over the most obvious points:

1- If you are any kind of commercial undertaking, or if you depend on your site for a living, please pay attention to what you publish. Sites in English have quite some leeway to publish political content, but the bigger you get the tighter the line will be, and any kind of political activism can get you down.

2- The worst position is when you are big enough to attract the censors attention, but small enough to be insignificant in the general scheme of the internet. Say the BBC gets blocked: this makes a lot of noise, and eventually the Chinese government feels the pressure to reopen it. Inversely, if you stay small enough, you will never be blocked regardless of what you write. When you are in the middle, like these sites , the risk is biggest.

3- Finally, if you are already blocked, you can try your luck at 9 Dongdajie, Qianmen, Beijing, as a commentator suggested (this is the address of the Beijing Public Security Bureau) or any official body of your choice. I have no experience with this, and I am very skeptical about the results, but it is not impossible that the legal system works once in a while. We have seen stranger things in China.

Getting through the block

Once you have gone through the points above and decided that none applies to you, here are the typical solutions for users to get through the Wall. There are many of them, so I will just list the most well known, such as: lists of free web proxies , ad-supported or fee-based VPNs , networks like Tor or activist software like Freegаte*.

I will not go over each of these because you can find lots of information on the internet already, but I have tried a few of them and they all more or less do the trick: you can open in China sites that have been blocked by the GFW. These solutions are well known to the Chinese netizens users, as you can see in this Chinese blog which has even more options, such as giving a SSH number and code to your users.

So, you might think, what's the big deal with the Great FWall? It is full of wholes big enough for a whole horde of Mongols, like it's always been.

You are right, and yet, the GFW is a powerful system. For anyone who had a website blocked, it is very easy to see the impact on the stats of incoming hits from China. Depending on your size and content, it can be down to a 25%, and if you remain blocked for some time, chances are most readers will not find their way back to you. My guess: a combination of laziness, hi-tech aversion, and the excess of info flowing on the net means that a missing site is quickly forgotten, and few go through the trouble of opening a proxy for you. Click to continue »

From the post left unfinished last week . Some of the main arguments read (or heard) in China Crisis discussions:

The Time

Economies don't grow indefinitely. Low cycles follow high cycles and after 30 years it is about time. China cannot break the laws of economics, so the recession must necessarily come in the next X years. The country hasn't prepared itself politically and psicologically to face this period. In the end, we are sure to have trouble.

Of course, this argument is of little value without the X, and many proponents of a time limit have failed in the past. This is the field of technical analysts and other mystical thinkers. Mythology also plays a role: In Chinese history, cataclysms mark the end of a cycle. An earthquake preceded this crisis, and a solar eclipse is coming in July, the dynasty has lost its virtue. These arguments tend to work better with a bit of hindsight.

The Markets

The World's economies are interdependent today. China's economy is largely dependent on exports and FDI. The weight of these external factors in China's growth has been much discussed, but regardless of the exact numbers, few doubt that it is a significant motor of the economy. External motors failing, China turns to internal ones: investment and consumption. Today, strong public investment, mostly in infrastructure and energy, is making up for the loss. Click to continue »

Chinese ultra-blogger Han Han is starting a magazine. He announced it previously on his blog, and his last post is already giving the details to send in article drafts and job applications. I learned this last night from my friend 2Ting, who was eagerly preparing her CV and intro letter. The literati of the post-80s are very excited, it appears.

Han's magazine, which still doesn't have a name to avoid imitations, is presented in this blog post . A very Chinese and a very Han Han announcement, interesting for several reasons. But before I speak of it let me give some background on Han Han. I've been planning to write about him for ages, and never found the time until today.

The man

Han Han is 2Ting's idol. He is also the idol of thousands of others post-80s Chinese, and he has become – in spite of himself- a symbol of this often caricatured generation. His bio is interesting: while attending middle school he won a first prize in a famous literary contest, then he dropped out of high school and started writing popular novels and driving race cars. By now he has become one of the best selling authors in China, and, if I got my stats right, the most read personal blogger in the World. Click to continue »