这个星期，我很少有时间做语言后，部分原因是因为我一直忙着写一个小故事 ，一方面是因为我已经讨论了有关在其他博客良好的语言。 我利用这一点，跟我对上海的最后意见后，我们上了长时间的讨论后吴博客。

讨论开始与语言学习网站无关评论。 但真正让我加热是痛苦的实现，许多上海的人 - 或者更确切地说吴扬声器 - 不仅不保护自己的美丽的语言，但他们实际上是积极摧毁其深厚的文化底蕴纯粹的无知。

如果你已经读了，而我，你大概知道，我感到非常强烈的语言，尤其是关于消失的。 也许部分原因是，我从文化，我们花了显著我们的资源量，以促进少数民族语言，这么小的和无用的，它大约有1％的上海扬声器。 也许是愚蠢的，但它是我们的语言。 点击继续»

在本周的语言后，我想谈谈语言保护主义。 我不知道这是我要找的字，但如果你已经过去几周的博客，你可能明白我的意思。 这一切都始于上个月这项建议 ，禁止从媒体的英语单词，以维护“中国语言的纯洁性“。 现在它看起来像当局已采取认真的，和昨天的电视频道正式通知新的语言政策。

我的博客，其中包括一些尊重民意语言学家网站 ，取得了大量的噪音没有理由。 或者说，有两个原因：一个是中国搞乱了他们的公关（“纯洁”一词是在文化方面，特别是一个不错的选择）的老问题。 另一种是中国博客现场绝大多数是美国，这是美国人很难理解的语言殖民化的问题。

我是英语语言的开放性和灵活性的大崇拜者。 喜欢读博客语言登录我学会了欣赏descriptivist方法，到语言学（研究如何一种语言，而不是妄图发号施令应该如何），我相信这种放任的态度有助于使英国最富有的语言世界。 点击继续»

在本周的语言后，我要检查性别的影响，在书面和口头的中国语言和中国女性的反应，今天使用的许多歧视性的表达式。

鉴于大多数传统文化非常性别歧视以今天的标准，这是很常见的，在今天的语言中的性别歧视元素。 例如，在英语中，有什么调用一个女消防员的老忿怒。 拉丁语言与他们的性别declensions甚至更多的问题，指出，一些大胆的西班牙女权主义者喜欢写“abogad @”，以涵盖所​​有的律师可能男女。

旧的儒家传统在中国是很难性别平等的一个例子，儒家学者和中国几千年的脚本之间的亲密关系，这是很自然的人物应该进行一些重要的偏见。 正如我们将看到，口语是没有任何好转，反映了社会的女人即使在老百姓中的作用有限。点击继续 »

这是一个在我的博客的新功能。 这是一个按照最初的语言和文化的职位，去年，我从现在开始提交关于继续该系列的每星期四，我喜欢它的感觉。 我们的想法是这些语言的好奇心后，我遇到我的普通话学习，和我直接记下我的书桌上。

专业人士喜欢你发现语言日志中 ，以纪念语言学家，一个多语种之间的差异，和我完全同意。 虽然我是一个语言学，尤其是那些描述一种风扇，我从来没有研究的纪律认真，我不能告诉一个palmiped一个介词。 我只是一个奇怪的语言学习者，我会坚持我所知道的。

这种思想阻碍了从语言编写的，而我考虑的 语言学家博客已经提供丰富的选择。 但转念一想，有一定程度的权利之间的人类学和语言学，空间开阔，以非专家的猜测，生活在语文沉浸正规培训的重要。

我指的是语言与文化互相影响，以及一定的性格和对世界的看法如何进入印的语言，遥远的过去形成化石的过程中，如何观察正在进行即使在今天。 这是点的语言和文化系列，其中包括更多的问题比答案。 下面是一个例子： 点击继续»

我已经一段时间，因为我所有的假期时间已经由上海的两个引人入胜的故事，其中一人是电视连续剧，另一种新型的吸收。

串行WoJu，蜗牛的家，愣神Dwellingness窄，或任何翻译成英文。 它在中国已经在11月首次播出以来的炽热。 爱丽丝刘单位“和优酷言论博客最近涵盖。

由于这些博客指出，这一直是最具爆炸性的成功，我们还记得在中国的电视连续剧。 在不到一个月的时间，它引发了激烈的辩论在互联网上，吸引了数百万在线和关闭，并与该检查员狰狞的手。 快速成功的原因之一是有关的问题，买房子，正好碰到年轻的中国观众当场的中心主题。

但是，Woju是比房地产和腐败的故事。 这是一个扣人心弦的戏剧，丰富的次要情节的发展，围绕中央的三角恋爱，非常真实的字符填充。 一个近代中国社会的急剧的批评，和迄今为止最好的产品，我曾经在大陆电视上看到。 最初它是Liuliu，在2007年出版的一种新型的中国作家 ，我们应该在未来更加紧密地看。

这里是我的印象串行现在我已经完成了第15章。 我将重点放在两个主要的兴趣点：为希望了解中国的人的信息内容，并独立于其他方面的考虑产品的质量。 到底是我观察到相关的审查和其他一些有趣的事情。

内容

这个序列是中国通，有抱负的中国问题专家的天堂。 任何人想了解中国，应该看它。 如果字符是不完全真实（没有小说可以被）他们的忧虑，他们的问题和他们的动机是一个Hi - Fi扩增反映当今中国的年轻公民。 这是一个中国的现实集中。

过去几年我们一直讲的所有的元素都在那里，没有一个是失踪：广西建设，干部“二奶（爱好者），上海男人欺负自己的妻子，谁也不能看到自己的婴儿，非法工作的父母高息贷款，开发商和地方官员，shanghaiers和外地人之间的冲突，一夜之间丰富的温州，新中国的伦理道德，拆迁或“破坏和移动之间的”官商勾结，“钉子人”谁抵制，山寨手机... ...你的名字。

所有如此精确，你甚至可以看到多少的人物都在自己的工作收入，高利贷问什么兴趣，或付出多大的代价一个党员干部，以获得他的第一个小二奶（情人）。

肯定有更好的描绘中国社会在过去的书籍，但主题是变化如此之快，他们都过时。 我不认为有任何其他的小说今天的工作，更准确地反映上海社会大约2010。

“你好，我是局长宋的市委（我只是shagged你的女朋友）”

如果你正在学习中文，该系列双必须是一个伟大的地道的普通话。 如果你不是，然后站配有英文字幕的DVD，希望海盗与他的托福水平的翻译人员。 这有一定的市场，我不会感到惊讶，如果他们都与电影明年，只要政府不停止。

质量

但比上述更重要的是产品的质量。 这是很好的小说和良好的娱乐。

故事是由一个强烈的爱为中心的三角形就被美丽的女演员扮演，年轻的Haizao 李念 。 上面列出的所有要素，包括房地产热的赢家和失败者，倾向于解决此爱/恨的故事，接触了两个不同的世界：laobaixing和干部，这两个类的中国城市。

但也许串行最好的方面，一个中国的电视节目中呼吸新鲜空气，是绝对缺乏公众的道德教训。 这里没有英雄或恶棍。 贪婪的开发商，难耐徒劳的妻子，缩头缩脑的上海丈夫，神秘的， 离谱的上海姑娘李念饰演。 他们中的每单之一是人性的弱点和所有人一样的野心。 他们每个人可以以最好的和最坏。

即使是贪官是太人性化。 一个软弱的人在中年危机，在他手中的权力太大，不检查他的行为和系统。 腐败，爱情一样，发生的事件的自然过程，一个病态的社会​​和一个邪恶的个人计划的结果。 江州，中国世界街头，为上海站，是所有的人物都无可救药漂流行动的强大旋风。

检查

毫不奇怪，串行一直由政府审查。 然而，它已被审查的方式，罢工假正经我，如果不是太白痴。

因为我现在在欧洲，我已经能够观看YouTube上的串行和比较中国网站优酷上的审查。 图像上没有审查以上，其中上海市委的一位官员，公然与他刚刚被强奸免费使用他的政治实力的女孩的男友聊天。

相反，下面的图片审查：

在中国看到的原始场景，并低于审查的版本。

这是第一个正确的性教育的串行现场。 在原始版本中，您会看到在屏幕的四分之一Haizao呻吟面对，而其他的图像对应各自的妻子和男友，谁是在家里，担心自己的亲人，而他们正在奥运类的乌龟。

Haizao比上面显示的快乐先生宋淫秽的呻吟面对？ 绘制自己的后果。 同样有趣的是要注意在审查过程中，生产者参加的火爆场面不只是切出，但编辑和其他原件取代放大图像在上面的妻子，。

其他细节和问题

我会回来更多的细节时，我与串行，但目前我有2个问题，为市民，尤其是许多中国人我知道是谁已经观看了整个35章：

1 - 为什么会如此显着的串行显示“Coogle”的Haizao shanzhaied电话，它只是为了使其更切合实际，或者是报复，因为谷歌拒绝赞助？

2 - 有一个阴谋的一部分，我只是无法理解：Haizao如何能是处女当她第一次与宋睡觉，如果她一直与男友生活多年？ 这是一个情节的差距，我失去了一些严重的（和担心）中国文化的元素？

在本系列的前两个 职位的 ，我们看到，中国是世界上最后的语言来保持一套完整独立的词汇根，非语音脚本来代表他们，我们可以称之为一个单独的词系统。 出于这个原因，我认为，中国可能是最困难的语言，以获得充分的流畅性，无论对学生的语言背景。

但也有比单纯的语言困难，特别是文化和政治的，更有趣的问题。 因为拒绝使用的贷款和语音脚本是有意识的决定的结果。 有什么是语言本身，禁止进口的外来词或一个字母的使用，事实上，已经有一些异常的直接贷款目前使用的拉丁字母书写的，如 DVD或KTV。

中国有来自世界各地不同的一个平行的Word系统，和政府在维护本系统的积极作用。 然而，这项政策是不能单方面从上述规定。 这当然是由教育系统鼓励，但中国扬声器似乎遵循自然的中国根，甚至没有监督时，往往喜欢。 这是在许多国家的情况下，系统会尝试以保护当地的条件，才发现，人们还是喜欢“电子邮件”，“快递ELECTRONIQUE”的对比。

足够长的时间在中国生活的人意识到如何知道中国的悠久的历史和他们作为不同文明的地位。 这种话语是对西方人的刺激性，因为它提醒超民族主义的信条太多回了家。 但它有一个本质的区别：这些信条在中国的情况下，这是事实。 正如我们以前说过 ，中国是有道理的，看看自己作为一个文明的摇篮，它是唯一的这种文化实际上直到近代，从世界主流的独立生存。 这种文化意识的主要原因是为保存的语言，因为我们知道，幸存的不同的制度，甚至混乱时期。

当我们研究中国，我们不只是学习另一种语言，我们学习的一个平行的世界的话，最后独立的系统词汇和写作，人类仍然有。 这是最类似地球上的另一个星球的语言学习经验。 如果中国真的那么难学，这应该提供足够的动力，任何人都可以尝试。

政治上的考虑

普通话本身并不是一个非常困难的语言，使得它很难是其复杂的Word系统，其中大部分没有必要（即语言仍然存在贷款和一个字母）。 该系统使得它很难外国人和中国人沟通，这是中国教育的一个严重障碍。 在上个世纪，的发展一直是中国主要的优先事项，以恢复她昔日的辉煌，低效的文物已被推倒，无闪烁，就像北京的城墙，。 中国字和字符的那些阻塞古迹最后留下来，和到目前为止所有最古老的。 这是一个奇迹，他们有生存到今天。

方便的方法发明键盘上输入字符的字符的未来显得更加安全，但他们的持久性是没有保证的手段。 许多著名的语言学家认为使用拼音作为主要书面语言和消除从日常生活的字符，而不是鲁迅，或已故的约翰 - 弗朗西斯至少。 就像我很佩服这些人，他们的工作，我完全反对他们的原则问题的立场。 我不认为任何人会相信我在这个年龄的经济学家，甚至在中国的新哲学，但我是这样说的：效率不是最高价值。 事实上，它甚至不是在本身的价值，但只是一种手段。 一个可悲的手段，将恢复对中国的伟大，如果有再恢复。

我认为这是大多数中国人的今天，他们的话系统是太珍贵了，为了提高效率放弃。 然而，一些合理的让步，可这可能确保系统在长期的生存。 特别是，接受外国贷款为新技术的话，可能会促进中国对外国的研究和外来人才纳入真正的中国人才外流开始认真的访问。 拉丁字母代表音素国外的专有名词（这已经是使用非正式）的完全接受，也可以对效率的一个步骤，在不牺牲系统的心脏，并为所有想学英语的中国将是很大的帮助。

除了考虑的实际问题，同样重要的是中文Word系统的基本心态。 不断增长的世界中的所有语言的通用词汇，代表有一个共同的人类文化的很大一部分，而且大多数文化的认同，因为这部分是只会成为较大的技术进步，合理的解决方法是采用一种共同的语言进行沟通。 决定远离这个系统除了语言的选择，中国表示反对世界各地的立场，并以某种方式延续古村传统的隔离，即使在全球互联时代。 中国互联网社区与外界隔绝的，从它产生的文化之间的误解 ，在一定程度上，这种选择的后果。

在中国的关系中发挥的语言与世界的一部分可能不是第一重要的。 但是即使今天，这部分是不是可以忽略不计，与通讯的进步，没有人知道它在未来将成为多么重要。 最终，它最多只能到中国来决定他们为自己想要什么语言。 我们只能等待，并希望他们找到一种方法，我们呆在一起连接，同时保留其词独特的遗产。

上星期五，我写了一个很长的职位，我结束了太多的想法。 主要的一点有点模糊了结果，但它是简单：词汇起着至关重要的作用，并在学习一门语言，因为这个中国不仅极其困难的先进水平，但也越来越难与时间。

我不认为这是开创性的研究的，但有趣的是，因为大多数人都没有意识到这一点，也为在语言和政治的betwen限制的影响，有两个字段，我们要培养在这个博客。 以下是结论充分的论据，例子和详细信息，请参阅以前的帖子，其意见：

• 要学习一门新的语言所需的主要知识是在三个方面：语法，语音和词汇。 语法和语音的不同之处主要从词汇，前两个规则适用于无限的情况下，而后者则是原始数据。 我们可以把它们的语言代码和数据元素。 代码元素是有限的，而不是增长。 数据元素的几乎是无限的和不断增长的的的，这是没有完全掌握母语。

• 学习一种语言时，代码元素发挥至关重要的作用水平在初级和中级，但在先进水平的真正障碍的沟通，因此进步是数据。 例如，在德国的先进学生，有时可能会使用错误的变格，并在西班牙，他们可能无法区分“RR / R”的声音。 这些东西往往不妨碍沟通，因为人类的语言是高度冗余。 我永远不会明白“佩罗”（但是）当一位发言者说：“perro”（狗）。 最终，不完善的地方口音相同：大多数的时候，他们仅作为元数据相关代码元素的含量。

• 但同时一定水平以上的代码是高度冗余，数据仍然在各个层面的关键。 从这个伟大的借款文章 ：短语“按摩在治疗静脉炎的有效”是毫无意义的的名词一方或双方是未知的。 一个单一的缺字，往往可以掩盖整个段落或文章的含义。

• 在现实生活中被动使用的单词的数量远远超过了典型的标准列出的语言水平。 这是因为半专业的话等离子，J acuzzi 或矩阵不包括词汇表，因为它们被认为是太稀有。 当然这些话是很少使用，但也有那么多，作为一个整体，他们实际上是非常经常使用。 此数据元素是如此之大，不能在课堂上背诵的，并获得它的唯一途径是通过多年的浸泡。

• 大多数语言学习者从来没有意识到这个问题的原因是因为他们是“欺骗”。 在世界上的大多数语言，这种高水平的词汇实际上是相同的，它并不需要学习的。 以上，最现代的话是国际和数据是没有更具体的语言的每种语言有一定的限制级别。

• 这个词汇衔接的限制水平为每一种语言不同，但它并没有这么多的依赖于语言家庭或地理来源，而是取决于大小和扬声器社会的发展。 这是极易中级以上的原因，甚至非印欧语系语言，如巴斯克：社会是不是大到足以支持复杂的条款，以及所有更高的数据是从国际的话通过。 大多数人往往误解和太重视语言的家庭的概念，并拿出一样荒谬列出这一项。

• 国际化的词汇越来越多的电信和全球化的进展，特别是因为英语已成为科研的唯一语言。 在科学发明新的瑞典方面有多大意义，例如，当所有的科学界正在阅读/英语写作自己的论文。 通常情况下，尽管政治努力，以促进本地的词汇，语言的经济恢复更高的数据传输回Internationalese。

• 在世界上只有一个语言，历史，政治和人口的原因，一直保持这一趋势的一个例外：语言是中文（普通话，粤语或其他人，这里是无关紧要的差异）。 它构成了一个高层次的数据的并行系统，其余的Word的共同很少说话。 日本和韩国，他们利用从中国和国际体系，但现代的话越来越国际和这些语言的趋同，其余部分例外。

• 此外，中国有一个可笑的困难其缺乏一个功能拼音脚本的唯一的书写系统。 这种化合物的词汇问题：不仅有更多的言语来学习比在任何其他语言，但每个字包含更多的信息，因为它需要其相应的字符。

• 此外，因为没有标准化的方式来抄写外国专有名词，甚至地方和个人的名字往往被“翻译”成中文，有时甚至完全离开原来的语音和成为中国自己的权利名称。 这增加了在中国的语言已经大量的数据元素。

这一切都需要我们的结论是：中国是最困难的语言学习在一个较高的水平，无论学生的起源。

这是特别有趣，因为到现在为止这个问题的正确答案是：“取决于你自己的母语”。 随着日本/韩国学生可能是个例外，这个职位需要，中国实际上是每个人最难的。 成反比的是，它也很难对中国学习其他语言，虽然这是由其他语言功能拼音脚本缓解。

另外一个有趣的结论：中国不仅难度大，它实际上是越来越困难。

随着世界变得越来越相互关联和技术占据了我们生活的重要组成部分，新的半专业词汇需要在日常语言中的增加部分。 参考国际概念，如“垃圾邮件”或“等离子电视”的表达式越来越多​​指当地文化遗产的表达式的地方。 在这个意义上说，我们可以说，在世界上所有语言的融合，而中国是一个岛国，其余所有分歧。

再就是，我们可以从中得出政治结论，但我决心写较短的职位，所以我们会离开的第二天。 批注和更正，欢迎到我的论点。

谈到在生活的每一个学生的普通话一个点时，他觉得号召，写语言的难度。 的时间终于来找我，我会按照路径 的 主人 。 事实上，我打算更进一步。 我证明，中国是世界上最困难的语言。

我知道我踩危险的地面上，和日语学习者节是一定要落在我declensions的重量。 为了使这是一个公平的游戏，我将首先定义什么我困难的理解：一个人以前没有相关的语言接触的平均所需的时间， 以达到功能的水平 ，其中功能是理解为能够执行每一个正常的活动普通话没有显著的缺点，如：写论文，举办正式会议，以正常速度阅读，在嘈杂的酒吧聊天。 我以我自己的法语水平，这个水平的衡量标准。

当然，这个标准和“显著的缺点”的整个概念是主观的，很难衡量，但这个职位的目的应该是足够的。 注意，这里的关键因素是实用工具 ：我故意少交的关注等方面的口音，只要在正常的沟通方式，因为它没有得到。 原因是我考虑语言作为沟通的工具，而不是地位，出身或其他功能的标志。 在中国，任何可能的用途是模仿口音失去了大多数外国人，因为五官立刻让他们离开。

除了口音，重要领域，如中国古典给出了明显的原因，我的“功能性”的定义非常小，重量轻。 它是真实的，使用这个定义，我削弱我最困难的语言的情况下的，但我们可以买得起，因为我们最强大的武器储备。

还有一件事之前，我继续：这次演习已经试过很多次了，喜欢这里 ， 在 这里和这里 。 我忽略了以前的结果，因为标准，如每个老师的看法或比较某些常规参数，没有任何在现实生活中的使用。 每个学生自由选择他自己定义的困难和功能级别，但在我看来，在这个岗位之一，概括为“ 需要在本地环境中使用的语言无缝的水平 ”，是一个大多数人自然会接受。

我的论点如下通过3个阶段的学习中文的过程：首先，我证明，中国是很容易的，然后我证明，这是很难的。 最后，我会给的原因，中国是世界上最困难的语言。 如果您已经熟悉普通话的研究，你可能想直接跳到第三章。

中文是容易

在一个基本水平和单词的第一个列出的容易发音和记忆（音）汉语语法的简单性使得起初非常温和的学习曲线。 我已经多次在西班牙学习西班牙语的学生比较，几乎总是在中国普通话的学生更快地开始使用简单的句子。 除了语言本身，我怀疑，对中国的好奇和健谈的性质是它的一个重要组成部分。

如果你在中国有足够长的时间，你有可能看到这些奇迹的学生，了解到中国在1年内一些。 我会见了一些他们自己的，并在某些情况下，我对结果感到惊讶。 这些人基本上都是自然的传播者，他们并不需要的铃声或字符，因为它们使用普通话，这是上下文的一个非常强大的工具。 他们的语调和身体语言的信息渠道万吨，并且使他们能够受理的成人为几个小时就结束中国的乐队，而你坐在那里恨恨地想知道放在哪里的了。 这是一个真实的故事，顺便说一下。

当然，并不是每个人都能这样一个伟大的传播者，但这里的要点是：一个人的某一种为某种目标，中国可以在事实上一个简单的语言，在浸泡据悉时。 这是一种肤浅的层面上，是指当你听到有人说：“他讲14种语言的流利”。 它只是最基本的字符，几乎没有语法，没有音调记忆的日常词汇的长列表。 它无处甚至是靠近我的功能级别的定义，但它是有用和有意义的，对于大多数人来说，这是他们所需要的。

正是出于这个原因，每个外国人来中国，特别是好奇和交际的，我强烈建议学习中国的谈话没有字符。 在这第一个层次，它具有经济意义，对他们大多数人认真研究。

由于长期暴露在讲普通话的环境，一个扬声器，可以去很长的路要走，没有字符。 然而，严重的学生的普通话，非字符的路径是不可持续的。 除其他原因，因为它会使它无法读写，有效地离开了限制大面积的知识。

中文是困难

步入下一阶段之前，潜在的学生应该三思。 ，因为它需要在时间上的投资比例几乎任何其他语言的研究，甚至与这种复杂的任务，例如，获得博士学位。 在绝大多数情况下，它不具有经济意义，而且它根本就不是一个理性的选择。 所以，如果你决定去那里，只是确保您有不合理的动机。

在这个阶段中出现的困难，如字符和色调，已经在优秀的描述 文章 上面提到的，所以我不会赘述。 我只想强调上下文和相互依存的，我觉得的因素，有时低估。 这个想法，总结，是这样的：这两个diabolically中国口头和书面的困难代码学习变得更加困难，因为他们往往​​是不自收自支在学生的头脑，但相互依托，并然后他们都依赖于上下文的一个很好的协议。

这是系统的最荒谬的部分，因为直观人们想象的表意文字的脚本（半）从语音独立。 事实是，不仅他们不是独立的，但整个系统的效率低下，中国人自己很大程度上依赖于他们的口语解释字符。 这就解释了，例如，为什么它是如此容易提出与字符您的平均中国不能读，或为什么他们可以读一个报纸知道只有2000 *字符，但你不能，因为他们成功地使用他们的口语要记住/猜丢失字符。

在其他方向，对书面材料的依赖，学会说话是任何第二语言，共同为能读字在发音显著的方式，使他们更容易记住。 在中国现有的材料，在适当的拼音（与tonemarks拉丁字母）是几乎为零，和一些字母和声调的趋势，不同地区之间，几乎是不可能的，学习他们正确地从听只是。 更糟的是，中国扬声器依靠自己的字符来解决歧义，这是常有的情况下与人民和地方，或当他们解释了一个新词的名称：“我的名字是江，”他们说，“美容女子江“，指的字符姜2部分。 歧义往往发生在很多上下文语言如普通话，更涉及外​​国人。

这个讲话和写作之间的相互影响，许多中国特有的其他后果：例如，它是不可能的写下来，甚至读外来词，没有一个字符的先进知识，使得它很难理解书面和熟悉的名字，在谈话中。

所有这些因素（以及许多其他我没有提到）为外国人提供了一个非常艰难的学习环境。 这是为什么它是不可能达到以下一种平衡的方法，对语言文字功能级别的主要原因，再加上沉浸在中国文化。 它解释了为什么一个字符的渊博知识的汉学家永远不会说话的语言功能，也不做旧中国生活几十年来语文沉浸的手。 他们都站在摇晃的平台上，用一条腿比别人短。

总之，要研究中国的努力是学习2不同的语言，需要在并行追求类似**。 这两种语言是很多很难超过法国（说英语的人）。

然而，这仍然未能打动日本的学生，已经磨他们katanas来后，我的头。 我承认，到了这里，日语仍然有一个很好的机会击败普通话。 移动到下一节看到我的将军。

中国是世界上最困难的语言

现在当我们到了第三阶段，在功能级别的学生，与母语相比，没有任何“显著的缺点“。 至于我担心的是，这个阶段仅仅是假设：我从来没有见过一个外国人到了那里。 我不是说这个人不存在，我只是意味着，在中国3年后，我还没有遇到任何，即它是多么难得。

措施建立标准方面，我可以词组它是这样的：我仍然不能满足的水平一个单一的外国人能说流利的中国作为一个成年人的竞争与我自己的水平在法国，这是我的第四语言，据悉在3年在法国度过的。 我有一个口音和一些人造阿美族 ，但我可以读取和写入任何类似的背景我的法国同事一样快速和复杂的，我不记得我最后一次在电视上的东西没有得到。 我挑战的人给我弄一个非中国本土的扬声器，可以说或写，就像我在法国做，甚至在水平相当。 对不起，如果我的声音趾高气扬，我只是写本，因为它是基础的论点如下。

但是，让我们这个岗位的实际点：为什么中国在世界上最困难的语言？

这一论断的主要依据与词汇。 我认为，在学习汉语的大多数研究，这一因素已被大大低估。 在我看来，这是一个最重要的一个学生去功能级别的障碍。 在我解释为什么，让我给一些背景：

的起源，有深厚的文化原因，作为一个文明的摇篮，中国是其扬声器。 其实，它可以精确地说，中国是人类文明的摇篮之一，而这一天，一直活的语言只有一个。 语言学家会说的语言已经完全改变，因为殷商时代，但是这是一个纯技术性的反对。 文化，它仍然是相同的人，相同的语言，它是这样的心情扬声器，这带来了一系列的态度，是中国特有的。

这些“态度”，包括不承认拉丁或希腊的文化背景，并推而广之，不接受在创造新词的英语或其他外国根。 这是心脏的问题。 这使得事情极其困难的外国人学习汉语，也为中国学习外国语言。 而且它的影响超越了语言学习的范围。

关于普通话的学生的实际后果，应考虑：需要获得一个标准的语言水平的积极词汇，例如，需要最高水平的汉语水平考试，通常包含的词汇不超过几千字，这是更比足够日常谈话。 然而，HSK11我见过的人甚至还没有接近我的法国竞争。

原因是高等教育的人，被动的词汇真正需要实现一个功能级别是远远比在任何标准的能力测试所需的词汇。 想想载体 ， 离子或形而上学 。 这些话都没有进入词汇的标准列出，因为在理论上，他们的技术术语，但他们出现在正常的对话，并期待你承认他们，即使你不知道什么是离子真的是。 您获得通过一生的生活里面文化的这些话。

所以发生了什么事与我的法国吗？ 很显然，我刚刚学会相处的几千字，从此，这是非常容易... ...专业词汇广阔的口袋，因为已经知道我的大部分。 这是因为，一旦你学会了解码语音和语法，并一定程度以上的词汇，所有的语言在世界几乎成了为中国，除了相同的，即是。

作为中国这个分化的结果，对于大多数人来说，实现功能级别唯一实用的方法是花一生中浸泡，以获取那些没有在语言学校学习的所有领域的词汇，只能学到通过经验。 综上所述，对于一个学生成为功能，它会采取后，我们的上述三个阶段：

1. 优秀的沟通能力，人才和动机。
2. 多年的脱产学习，学习阅读和写作。
3. 分钟甚至更长的时间 - 10年左右？ - 在100％在中国沉浸。

从本质上讲，我们讲了作为一个职业生涯中，谁拥有语言天赋，总的中国环境中生活多年，对中国致力于的人。 这不是不可能的，这个人的存在，我们甚至可能有人在评论下面描述。 但在一个人的3个条件的结合，是极为罕见，绝大多数的学生，在中国的功能级别将永远够不着。

借口长后，我写的是出于无奈的一天当我停留在一种含离子治疗的句子中，部分是因为字离子，离子（li2zi3）像许多其他技术的话，不给你任何线索时，它是物理学中。 我想看到的是日本（谁是相当不错说：“离子”的发音）要回答这个。 国际象棋。

和中国赢得了在世界上最困难的语言的不光彩。

注意事项：

*已经有很多讨论的数量可能是错误的 。 点是，甚至当你知道更多的字符比一个土生土长的中国，他将仍然能够读取比你好得多，更快。 这是令人沮丧的的 。

** I am using terms very loosely here, Written Chinese is not in itself a language but a representation of Chinese. It is not really studying 2 languages, but I find this comparison useful to give a feel of the raw amount of data that needs to be stored into your head.

PS。 If you are interested in this debate, see the summarized and hopefully more clear post here .

有一些信仰，虽然原本不从中国，接受由中国如此彻底，他们成为当地文化的一部分。 一个例子是在古代佛教，从印度进口。 另外一个，我发现，是现代管理大师的教学，从美国进口的。

It is interesting how analysts of China continue to explain all the social phenomena with the Confucian tradition, when it seems to me that the Johnsonian and Golemanian thought must be at least as influential nowadays. Walk into any Chinese bookshop or check out the local pirate's tricycle to see that self-improvement and cheese management titles rule supreme. The glossiest and most liquid books on the front table are the likes of: “Train yourself to start the next Google”, “How I changed myself from a complete idiot to a Fortune 500 CEO”, or “How I built a company that acquired the company of the idiot in the previous book”.

Now, I have to warn you at this point: the titles mentioned may not be 100% exact, I am illiterate in the field of self-improvement. As a conceited, self-styled free-thinker I cannot help an almost classist repulsion towards those works, and I frown even on the tricycle that sells them. During my years in the old Europe I happily managed to stay away from the rites of personal productiveness. But ever since I moved to China, the new philosophy is lurking at every turn of phrase, and all resistance is in vain.

One of the concepts that appears most often in conversation is that of EQ, or emotional intelligence, coined by D.Goleman in his 1995 best-seller . After dozens of Chinese spin-offs over the years, it has become an everyday expression here. It is not surprising that an idea like EQ should be so popular in the highly competitive Chinese system, where it provides some much needed comfort: don't worry if you didn't make it into a top Uni – the books say – because it's not IQ but EQ that will determine your future. The pair IQ/EQ is also known in Chinese as 智商/情商，(zhishang/qingshang), although I find that the English abbreviation is more commonly used.

Whenever EQ comes up in conversation I like to point out that the concept is unscientific , especially in the loose form in which it is used here. But my wikipedic erudition always fails to impress the locals, and I have seen my EQ summarily analyzed in multiple occasions. The first time this happened to me was during a lunch with my colleague Jia, an otherwise bright engineer, in the first year of my stay in China. I can remember it almost vividly:

- Uln, your Chinese is getting pretty good.
- Thanks - I ignored it. The comment is standard icebreaker in mandarin.
- You have a very good IQ – he continued.
- Hm, thanks, you are also not bad.
- Yes, but.
- But? -

He looked me intently in the eye. It must have been the expression called “frank positive emphatic” in page 362 of the emotional book. When the look had been established, he proceeded:

- IQ is not good enough.
- No?
- No, you should watch your EQ.
- You mean, Ah Q, by Luxun?
- No, I mean EQ.
- So who wrote that one?
- Nobody did.
- It's not a book?
- It is many books.
- Is it any good?
- Listen here. EQ is what explains why some people with lower IQ get further in life than others with higher IQ!
- You mean, like guanxi.
- No, like emotional intelligence.
- Ah, I thought…
- Guanxi is just a part of it. EQ is about your skills to get on in life!
- I see.

But I didn't see. That human relations and non-technical skills are essential in one's career was one obvious thing, that I should check my parameters like a cranky old motor was quite a different one.

- Your IQ is Okay - he insisted – but you should watch your EQ.
- Like what?
- Like there are open positions in HQ, that would be a good move for your career.
- What?
- A corporate level position is the way to leverage your expat experience .
- But I don't want to live in Paris!
- You see, that is EQ.

I was beginning to feel a bit annoyed by the philosophy. I weathered another “empathic positive penetrative” while I plotted my counterattack.

- So, why don't you apply to go to Paris yourself? – I said finally.
- What, me?
- Yes, of course, you have much more experience!
- But I am not an expat!
- So what, it's not required.
- You know, Uln – he paused slightly – I have my children to take care of.
- There are family packages.
- She would never let me, my in-laws would kill me!
- Hah! –I said victorious – You should watch your EQ!
- But I already do!!

And this time he quickly looked away, forgetting the EQ looks, as if to hide some shameful thought. But too late, I had caught him already. It was my turn to pull the thread.

- Jia?
- Yes?
- You are pretty serious about this EQ, right?
- Er, I … do what I can.
- Building good connections in the company is a good strategy, right?
- Er.. you might say that.
- Like having a friend in the HQ, for example, right?
- Huh? No, no, of course I didn't say that..I wouldn't…
- Jia?
- Well?
- You have an excellent EQ, Jia, you know that?
- Oh, haha, no, no, thanks, you have an excellent IQ…

I know, I should be studying right now, and not writing posts. But I was just breathing slightly between two sessions of 模拟考试, and I reflected on the fascinating process of learning a new language, and on how, when you have been through it a few times, you end up developing your own secret methods to climb up the long steep ladder.

My approach to learning Chinese this year is based on the one I used with my previous languages: The reading method. It can only be used starting from intermediate level. In the case of mandarin, I would say this is not before 2 years of studying at a normal rate.

The method consists of acquiring first a minimum level of vocabulary to understand most simple texts, and from that point on dedicate your study time to the pleasant hobby of reading novels as captivating as possible. If you are a bookworm like me this works very well, because you end up putting in far more hours of study (reading) than you would if it were normal exercises. I know there are also many resources to read Chinese on the internet with cursor translator included, but computers tend to distract your attention very fast, whereas reading a good book gets your eyes glued to the characters for hours on end.

The result of this method is that you end up with a vast passive vocabulary and excellent character recognition abilities. Then it is up to you in your socializing time to go out and try to use these words in conversation, at the risk of locals saying you sound pompous. Sometimes you can even lift full phrases from a novel, and it is fun when you manage to use them in real life. For example, when I was reading Lu Xun's “AhQ” I placed neatly my favourite line:

Little Yi:我讨厌我的老板，怎么办?

Uln:你先估量对手，口讷的你便骂，力气小的你便打。

Little Yi:天哪！

Uln:怎么啦？

Little Yi:你又在练习！

Uln:我？没有啊。。。

Admittedly, my use of the method is a bit radical. But the social phase is an essential part of it, because once you have used a word a couple of times successfully, it quickly moves into your active vocabulary, and after that it rarely leaves you again. This is only practicable if you live in a Chinese environment, it never worked when I was back in Europe.

Reading speed

The key tipping point in the reading method is that moment when you realize that you can read a story fast enough to actually enjoy it. This is a function not only of your knowledge of characters/words, but also of the interest of the book and of your own personal nerdiness. When I read my first novel “Brothers” last year, I was so excited to taste the Chinese popular literary style that I gladly spent two months ploughing through the 700 pages of chengyu-ridden Yu Hua.

Since then, I have much increased my reading speed, to a point where I can sustainably read non-fiction without falling asleep. The preparation for the high-speed requirements of the HSK has helped me a lot for this, and I must say that, in spite of all my ranting in the previous post , it does make sense to force students a bit. Because the ability to read characters at normal native speeds is one of the most difficult to acquire, in my opinion.

Note that, when I say speed, I am not referring to the speed that comes from knowing all the words in the text. It is obvious that by using less the dictionary it is possible to read faster. My point is that, even for simple texts where all the words are familiar, I still read almost 3 times slower than a native Chinese, even after 1 year of reading books. This is an issue that has appeared only when studying Chinese, and not in any of my previous languages that used latin script, so I have strong reasons to think that it is tied to the use of characters.

I think it probably has to do with the way the brain processes the characters, and the way people schooled in Chinese from an early age have developed differently in this field. The post about reverse pinyin last week pointed me in this direction, and a few experiments I have done with my Chinese neighbours as well. I hope I have the time to write a bit more about this next week.

In the meantime, if there is a non-native advanced reader out there, I would like to hear your experience. Does it eventually get better, and do you manage to read at the same speed as the Chinese? Or do you have the same problem I note here? 让我知道。

确定，脱线，我再次去。 I already missed all Tuesday and Wednesday in an absurd meeting in Changsha so I need to catch up. I'll be back after the HSK, if I haven't showed up by Monday call the fire brigade.

I am back to Shanghai with some interesting anecdotes and some mildly funny pictures of Japan. Unfortunately, I will not be able to post any of that, because this week I am busy with work trips in China, and especially because this is the HSK week. It is just as well, I guess, after all this is not Japanyouren, and there are funnier travel bloggers out there if you are looking for a laugh.

Before I disappear for a week into my studying den, let me explain you again this business of the HSK. It is short for 汉语水平考试，or Chinese Level Exam, and it is the official standard to measure your level of mandarin, accepted by all universities in the mainland. It is also a very crazy exam, designed to squeeze out of the examinee's brains as much linguistic information as possible in 3 hours, and then put it down in measurable statistical terms.

As it happens, the HSK is an exam that does not mainly measure your level of Chinese. It measures your determination, endurance and sangfroid, and your faith in a better life after the bell. The good side of it, apart from hardening your soul, is that it gives you a good taste of the ultracompetitive Chinese education system and their university entrance exam. It is even reminiscent of the 科举考试 , the old imperial examination to select the bureaucracy, which famously caused some of the candidates to lose their wits and become heavenly kings . For a foreigner who is serious (deranged) enough to try to understand China, this experience is essential.

But back to the facts: This Saturday 17th is the HSK advanced, and I am going to fight for a level 9, out of 11 possible levels. I need to get this degree desperately, for the sole honourable objective of beating my own record. This is the Olympic spirit.

My practice essays with thoughts on the Four Books

Here are some details of the exam: the reading section contains text with a total of over 4,000+ characters, the equivalent of some 10 pages in a standard format novel, and on that text you have to answer 15 questions (not choose a,b,c,d, but actually answer with a sentence). There is a total of… 15 minutes for this part. I tested with a native Chinese friend and that is the time she took just to read the text at normal speed.

The essay writing is another scary part, because you get so used to typing with the computer that when it comes to handwriting characters you don't even know where to start. At least here you do get 30 minutes for an essay of 400-600 characters, so you actually have the time to read what you are writing, and to consider if you really want to express your own point of view in an exam which contains exercises like:

“ The concept of scientific development leads our people towards a more ——– society ” ( a-harmonious, b-harmonic, c-harmonium d-hormonal)

This example is not exactly literal, I am quoting from memory. The point is the HSK has a strong Beijing flavour, and some of the phrases are taken directly from CPC handbooks and the helmsmen's theories. In a way, it feels like the Four Books of the imperial examinations all over again: the Thought of Mao Zedong, the Theory of the 3 Represents, the Concept of Scientific Development… As the old saying goes: All things they've changed, and nothing has changed.

今年夏天我学到的事情之一是，虽然我可能会留在欧洲假期，中国没有真的离开我了。 以上只是一个国家，它是一个自然的力量，人类的另一面，现在是我生活的一部分。 中国始终是存在的，和她是无处不在，出现在人们意想不到的情况下。

以西班牙为例。 中国人的社会存在主要是新的，不流利的语言，从一个单点，在中国的起源：来自温州的小县，青田上游。 当涉及到语言，西班牙都没有太大的比他们更好，整个形势是识字老外的机会。 虽然一个简单的“nihao”英雄的一天通常是足够的，做一些准备工作产生更好的效果。 徜徉成中国店随便丢弃一个Qingtianese的问候，并发表评论非凡的历史的老石雕县，家里的中国-西班牙。 这使得你受欢迎。 And you can drink tea and practice your Chinese conversation for hours on end.

What follows is a true story that happened in my last day of holidays. It includes a Chinese family with extraordinary sleeping abilities, and a team of adventurous Spanish ducks. I hope you enjoy it:

这是第一天早上从毕尔巴鄂飞往巴黎，在那里我被安排与法国航空连接到上海。 当我进入机舱的A319飞机，我立即标志着一个中国人的家庭，坐在前排：，一个中年的母亲与她的儿子。

她穿着风格的100名在一个无形的紫色外套，和她的十几岁的儿子盖了他的头在韩国的髋关节，跳连帽衫。 他们在早期飞行的商业氛围中脱颖而出。 但是是什么让我通知他们，我忍不住微笑，他们已经快睡着了，之前我什至得到了我的座位。 至于我可以看到，他们没有一个相当忙碌的飞行时间切换自己的立场。

From the start, the journey proved trying for my nerves. 正如我们起飞，一声巨响从飞机后部，振动，成长壮大，我们飞到。 有一段时间没有别的事，但随后，我们接近法国，飞机突然靠在一边，和比利牛斯山脉转动180度，在我们身边，直到我们从我们来到为首回西。

The noise grew worse, and the passengers with notions of geography were increasingly anxious. The town of San Sebastian appeared below us for the second time, only this time the ground seemed much closer. All the service call beeps went off one after the other. I looked around to the other passengers and they were all looking around. Nobody spoke.

Finally, the cabin crew appeared on the aisle, delivering row by row the official version of the facts: during take off a flying object had collided with the blades of engine 2, producing the bang and subsequent vibrations that we were experiencing. It was a common occurrence, and there was no danger. As part of the normal safety procedure, the captain had decided to return to the home airport for maintenance.

“It was probably a bird,” said the stewardess when she got to our row.

“A bird?” laughed the steward, “that was a team of big fat ducks!”

I figured he must have been instructed to keep a light mood. I tried hard to laugh, picturing circles of ducklings turning in the turbofan as we struggled to get past the sharp Basque valleys.

***

After an endless flight we were safety landed back onto Bilbao airport. As we were waiting to disembark, the pilot confirmed that the airplane was done for the day. We had to pick up our luggage first and then go to the Air France office on the second floor to request a new ticket. As usual, my suitcase was one of the last to appear on the rolling band, and by the time I got to the office there was already a long queue, about the length of a duck-stricken A319, and every bit as noisy.

The crowd was growing unruly. Some French passengers harangued the masses with true revolutionary spirit, launching slogans against all winged creatures, including ducks, airbuses, and Air France pilots. Since I was last, there was not much point in queuing, so I just stood on one side in a way to signify my disapproval. Then I noticed the focus was gradually shifting, as the keen Robespierres directed their anger to some unidentified target at the front of the queue. I walked over to have a closer look.

It was the Chinese family.

Clearly, they hadn't understood the instructions to pick up the luggage, and they had come straight to the airline office before anyone else. They were first, and they showed no intention of giving up their position. On the contrary, they were holding it admirably. The mother covered the rearguard with her fierce eye, while the son held fast to the desk. They were obviously well trained in conflictive queues, and they seemed unimpressed by the mob.

Linguistically, the situation was not ideal. The mother was screaming in Qingtianese, the son translated into Chinglese and an Air France employee replied in elaborate Spanglish, while the French head of office stared in disbelief. I was alone, and my faithful friend the Electronic Dictionary & Thesaurus was out of reach in the bottom of my bag. But the time was to act, and I did not falter in the hour of peril.

I cut right to the front and put in a “Qué pasa?什么事?”. All four faces turned to me at once. The queue became suddenly quiet.

“They want to go to China!” cried the employee in Spanish.

“We want to go to China!” cried the son in Chinese.

The positions of the parties seemed to me very much unanimous, and ripe for an easy consensus. But further enquiry proved that it was not exactly so. I managed to reconstruct the following facts:

The family had slept through the flight, right until we landed back in Bilbao. Then they had not understood the strongly accented message of the pilot and they had dashed out of the plane straight to the connections desk, where they had been redirected to the airline office. And they acted so urgently because they only had one hour to catch the connecting flight. All they asked is to board their plane immediately, and they were pretty suspicious of this whole attitude of the staff in Paris.

Because they actually thought they were in Paris.

The problem was not an easy one to explain. Not only the mother's mandarin was as bad as mine, but also she was determined, and she had a deep rooted common sense. They had just flown into Paris and therefore this was Paris, she would take no nonsense from a laowai. I used all my persuasion. I noted how the souvenir shops were selling bullfighters, and not tour eiffels. Finally the young son understood, and he helped me convince her. The fact was settled: We were in Spain, and there were no direct flights to Shanghai from this airport.

The rest was fairly easy to manage, and after a few minutes the three of us left the office with a new ticket. Once their infinite gratitude had been sufficiently expressed, I couldn't help asking the son:

“But, how could you not realize that this is the same airport as before?”

“Well,” he smiled shyly, “Mum was just telling me that she finds all airports in Europe look strikingly similar!”

And his mother, who was tough but good-humoured, found it rather funny, and we all joined in a face-saving laughter. Then I knew I was engaged as official interpreter of the sleeping family.

***

In the end, my work as a translator served my interests well. We got our new tickets before anyone else, the last three places left to connect with the evening Paris-Shanghai. The revolutionaries were so stunned by the performance that they forgot to guillotine us, and the Air France employee gave us some free lunch vouchers for the VIP lounge. To make our wait more pleasant, she said, the company was offering one of their specialty dishes in the “Restaurant des Mondes”.

It was still far from the Spanish lunch time, so we had to wait while they opened the kitchen for us. The prospect of a free lunch worked well to improve the mood of my Chinese friends, and we had a lively chat in the VIP sofas. I took the chance to impress them with my baidupedic knowledge of their hometown. After that they opened up to me, and the last lines of suspicion finally vanished from the woman's brow.

I listened distractedly as the son informed me of the state of the rap scene in Zhejiang. A terrible state that was, apparently, and I waited for a chance to switch topics. It was his mother that I found most intriguing. All the while she was sitting very still, as if lost in her own thoughts. She had an outside appearance that in China would be classified as “peasant”, but her proud, resolute eyes didn't quite fit in the picture. What was she doing flying around with her single son? I finally asked him.

As it turned out, she was a renowned chef back home. Qingtian is the origin of thousands of Chinese restaurants across Europe, and their extended family had made a fortune with a popular chain of Chinese food. She had come as an expert to establish new recipes in the family restaurants in Spain, all the while teaching her son the secrets of the Chinese cuisine. They had toured the country for three months, making the company's food “more delicious, more authentically Chinese”.

“Her most famous recipe is Beijing Duck,” said the kid, licking his lips, “You have never tried anything like that!”

“I would love to have a chance to try it,” I answered, suddenly hungry for duck.

Then the mother, who hadn't said a word all this time, looked at me with a strange smile. I felt there was an invitation coming. Instead, she opened her eyes wide and nervously shook her son's shoulder.

“Heavens!” she cried, “we still haven't picked up our luggage!”

***

When I took them down to luggage collection, their belongings were still lonely turning around on the band, a number of shapeless pieces covered in woven tarpaulin. As we loaded them one by one onto a trolley, the son suddenly found something was wrong. It was the last packet, a cardboard box with some strange little holes pierced on the top. He held the box on his knees and showed me one of the corners where it had been torn open. The box was empty.

The woman was very upset. She started moving her arms up and down and speaking in her sing-song dialect at an alarming speed. I couldn't understand a word of what she was saying, but the replies of her son were more composed, and I could more or less make out the gist of it:

“I told you we couldn't take them on a plane, mum!”, he was saying.

“But how can we pass the long winter without them?”, she replied.

Suddenly I had a very dark premonition. While they were busy arguing, I walked over to the broken box and examined it carefully. As I held it up in front of me, a small, delicate object floated down from the broken corner. It was a feather.

I dropped the box as if it burned my hands, and I kicked it behind the rolling band were it wouldn't be seen. I was in panic now, and I joined the arguing party with my own version of alarmed mandarin:

“We have to het out of here, NOW!”, I said.

“什么？ But the box?,” said the mother.

“Forget it!” I pushed the trolley towards the door, “we will see to that later!”

“什么？ But we have to file a complaint. They might have found …”

“No!”

I tried to control my nerves, as I envisioned charges for terrorism, and the dire diplomatic consequences of China's national dish being presented as evidence of the crime. I tried to relax telling myself that at least there hadn't been any human casualties.

“Please help us,” she said.

“We can't do this now! Spain is a bureaucratic country, these things take a long time…” I muttered. “And anyway I'm sure your little friends are going to be fine!”

She gave me another inquisitive glance, like the first time I suggested she was not in Paris. She was clearly reconsidering about my sanity.

“Well, excuse me ,” she said, “but they are important to me, and if you don't want to help me I will have to file the complaint myself”

Just at that moment the airport PA system cracked with a life-saving announcement. All the passengers of the cancelled flight were asked to go back immediately to the second floor, were new information was awaiting us from the captain.

“Quick, this must be our lunch, let's go before we miss it!” I translated, and this argument finally seemed convincing enough for the stubborn lady.

***

On the second floor, the slick French captain was putting in practice the company's open information policy. The maintenance staff had just confirmed—he said—that it was indeed the impact of external objects on the engine that had caused the vibration. The strange bodies had been already extracted and brought in from the hangar for analysis. The decision to return to the airport had proven a good choice, as it was the chief engineer's opinion that we would have never made it to Paris.

A drop of cold sweat fell down my right temple as I considered the chances of those little animals finding their way into the turbine. Even if they managed to tear open the box and then break free from under the piles of luggage, even if they could unlatch the hold door with their little beaks, still, how could they fly over to the engine? It seemed impossible. I remembered the laws of fluid dynamics, and how turbulent airflows exhibit nonlinear, chaotic behaviours. For the first time in my life I felt I understood the real meaning of the Chaos Theory.

In the meantime, the mother had sent her boy to inquire about lost objects, and he was explaining their problem to the captain in such a perfectly unintelligible English that the brave man could only smile politely. They looked around at a loss, only to see that their laowai friend was nowhere to be found. I had just in time slipped into the gentlemen's restroom.

At this point, the airport loudspeakers buzzed again:

Passengers of the AF2435 to Paris, please proceed into our VIP lounge. As a special attention, we are offering you the chef's specialty in our exclusive “Restaurant des Mondes”

***

I joined the family again as they walked down the corridor to the VIP Lounge. It seemed that the luxury meal kindly offered by Air France had conquered the heart of the frightful woman. Her expression showed no more pain for the loss of her beasts, and I hoped she had decided to give up the search. Presently, she was impressed by the quality of the service, and her mood was chatty.

“They know how to treat a client, in France,” she said conversationally, “back in China it's not even comparable.”

“Oh, sure, great service here,”

“Even if they don't have any proper backup plans,” she noted, “they are just great at doing nice surprises.”

“Oh, yeah, you can count on the French for surprises”

“It is all in the attitude, isn't it?”, she said, and her only child nodded in agreement.

As we approached the “Restaurant des Mondes”, the atmosphere was so relaxed that I thought we had passed the worst. I just had to get them on our plane right after lunch, and there would be no more nonsense of lost object complaints. Then I saw the stewardess at the restaurant door, smiling. She held a large sign written in all the major languages of the World, including mandarin. It read:

TODAYS SPECIAL DISH:

“Thin-sliced duck Beijing style”

In case there were any doubts, underneath the text there was a colourful picture of a team of ducks thinly sliced as if by fast rotating blades, swimming in the dark sauce of the traditional Beijing recipe.

I tried with my body to hide the sign from their view, but I was too late. There was not much point anyway, the pictures were all over the place, and the food was coming out any minute. As we sat down, I peeped at her out of the corner of my eye. Her expression was enigmatic, the initial apprehension had turned into something more lofty. Was it triumph? I trembled.

The dishes were served and, unexpectedly, nothing happened. I glanced at my two friends. The were obviously enjoying their meal, emitting now and then favorable grunts and other judgements with the assurance of the true connoisseur. Then, halfway through their ducks, they looked at each other with an understanding smile and, following some mysterious signal, the lady suddenly stood up, knocking her chair behind her, and crying out loudly:

“I want to speak to the person who cooked this!”

There was a spark in her eye as she glared at the kitchen door on the other side of the dining room. I could not think of anything to say this time, so I just sat still, helpless as the slings and arrows flew swiftly towards their target.

Seeing that no help was forthcoming from my side, the mother ignored me and took direct action. She strode across the room and, without further preambles, she thrust open the kitchen door, roaring in Qingtianese. In a minute, the cook came out sporting a high chef hat and howling even louder than her. To my surprise, he was also employing some variety of Zhejiang dialect.

Then something strange happened. The moment he saw the chef, the son stood up and ran across the dining room charging like a fighting bull, and when the three of them were at a close distance, they came together in a long, warm hug.

I stood rather awkwardly next to them, wondering what was next. The chatter of the adults had risen to undecipherable speeds under the flow of emotions. I looked at the teenager for an explanation, but he was too absorbed speaking to the cook. Finally, I managed to catch some fraction of the conversation:

“Uncle Li, we knew it had to be you, nobody else in the World can cook Beijing Duck like mother! What are you doing here?”

“You know, I got a catering contract with Air France, didn't I tell you?”

“Uncle, you really need to help us, mother is really worried! This laowai is with us, but his Chinese is so-so, and he just doesn't get it!”

“Say, my boy, what is the problem?”

“It is the new down-filled coats that mum bought to take home for the winter. She was so upset when we found out that they've been stolen from our luggage…”